Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately center on my child-thoughts:

1) When I was just a kitten I didn't understand the connection between eating and going to the bathroom. I thought we spent our lives chewing up our food and depositing it inside ourselves, and that death occurred when we were finally full. I thought if I chewed up my food really well, I could extend my life. Too bad I didn't have the book EVERYONE POOPS to clear that up for me. Someone explained the error in my beliefs at some point and so I came up with the new death theory -

2) Quite a few of the elderly ladies in my church had osteoporosis. Since food couldn't kill you I figured out that once you hit a certain age you started shrinking, and eventually faded off into nothing.

3) When I was little bathing, eating and sleeping were three things that took up way too much of my time and pulled me out of whatever I was doing. Think about it - when you were kid, and super involved with your playtime you inevitably heard: "Bathtime! Dinner! Bedtime!" As an adult, bathtime, dinner and bedtime are like the most awesome points of the day.

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately...

1) I've been watching the original Planet Earth in the background while revising. As a result, whenever I'm about to kill a character I hear "Wolf Takes Down Baby Caribou" music.

2) The Deep Sea episode had me gaping. I think I would be a lot of fun in a submersible. There would be numerous sound bytes of me going, "WTF IS THAT?!?!"

3) Now, no matter what is going on, Richard Attenborough narrates it in my head. It can be damn funny when applied to a high school library.

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately focus on family portraits...

1) Family portraits are a fake moment in time of the best versions of ourselves. We are dressed nicely. We are smiling. We look happy.

2) Hanging family portraits in your own home is odd to me. You know what you look like. You know what your spouse looks like. You know what your kids look like.

3) Those portraits are really there as a passive-aggressive way to make other people look at them and compliment you and / or your family.