1) What's up with #2 pencils? What happened to #1 pencils? Why do we bother to differentiate them as #2 anymore - is there another kind?
2) My car drove to McDonald's the other day. I was in it. It was tragic. So while I was hanging out in line I watched some feathered scavengers picking up their free lunch, and I had to wonder - Do birds that hang out in McD's parking lot have high cholesterol?
3) It seems like most geniuses were under-appreciated in their time, or thought to be insane. If I had a lot of money, I might pick up some "insane" people and be their patron. It's a long shot, but that could be my contribution to humanity.