Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately...

1) There aren't many gender neutral insults, yet instead of being irritated by this I have found humor in it. For example, calling someone a douchebag is like saying, "You are a really useful hygienic tool." Calling someone a dickhead is like saying, "I don't need you. People have been cutting those off for centuries."

2) Now that DRINK is out in the world people are reading it (hooray) then meeting me in person and are vaguely confused by the fact that I'm nice and funny. I told a girl last weekend that I'm actually an out of work stand-up comedian that Mindy McGinnis hired to pose as her for public events because she has serious anti-social issues. She totally believed me and then I had to convince her I was a liar.

3) After flying six flights in four days on the Dark Days tour (wouldn't have missed it though) I came home with a fairly decent case of vertigo that had me on my ass while picking apples - literally, that's not some kind of country colloquialism. So I did some research and it turns out that the kind of symptoms I have means that there are loose crystals floating around in my head. Yes, really.

And to this I say, "Huzzah, reality! Suddenly you are interesting!"