In Which I Do Not Endorse Pitching Yourself Down Staircases

It's time for another, extra-special glimpse into MindyLand - a fascinating place in which the reliable narrator appears to be protected by a higher power, cause really, I shoulda died.

And I promise, it ties into writing. Eventually. Bear with me.

I live in a big old, rambling farmhouse, with a big old takes-forever-to-climb, built-at-an-alarming-angle staircase.  I love my big old house, and the staircase was a serious motivating factor when I bought the house. Then it tried to kill me this past winter.

*Pause for world-building info dump*

My bedroom is on the second floor; a bathroom in the process of renovation is conveniently, right next door.  If one were (and, one often does) to walk out of the bathroom, you take a hard left to get to the bedroom.  Then there's a Misleading Bit O'Wall (reason for being thus dubbed to follow) and, immediately following, also on the left, the Staircase of Fate.  Said stairs are made out of real dead trees, not pressed and hardened cardboard.  And there used to be carpet on them.  I took it off.  Very.  Very. Smart.

So late one night - technically, it was very early, cause I'm a stay-upper like that - last December I found myself in need of the potty.  I make that trip, and flip off the light in the bathroom as I exit - cause who needs the lights on to make a hard left turn into their own bedroom? But it's late, and I'm tired, so when I put my hand out and feel the Misleading Bit O'Wall ending, I think oh good - bedroom - and commenced to step out into nothingness.  I was already leaning forward a bit, reaching for the light switch inside the bedroom, so I don't do one of those slippity, land on your butt things.  I fell completely forward and went end over end so that the very first thing that HIT was literally the crown of my head.  On a step.  A hard one.  With no carpet.  I heard the *CRUNCH* inside my head as my neck impacted.

Thought process went like this, as I stepped into nothingness, surrounded by pitch blackness:

1) Where the hell did my bedroom floor go?
2) *CRUNCH* Oh shit, I'm falling down the stairs, and I think my neck just got shorter.
3) Wow, this is really taking a long time to get to the bottom
4) *still falling down the stairs* Do these stairs end?  It would be really terrifying if I just kept falling.
5) *MEATY SMACK as I hit the bottom* (cause she never really slowed down) Oh good, I'm done falling, the perpetual stairs theory is false.
6) Ouch
7) I appear to be alright
8) *attempts to stand, immediate vomit reaction, curls into fetal position* Should I call the squad?  I can either crawl the length of the house to the security panel and do that, or crawl back up the stairs to my cell phone.
9) Well, I'm butt ass naked so I don't think I will go for option one.  (Inside track - BBC sleeps in the nude. Yeah, cause that's how I roll - and let me tell you, the bruises were interesting).

So I crawl back up the stairs, to call my Mommy and Daddy - cause that's also how I roll.  And an interesting conversation follows:

Mindy: (after a few dials cause it's like, 3 AM) Hi Mom - first of all, I think I'm OK, but I fell down my stairs and I want you to come and make sure I don't fall asleep and not wake up, or vomit and choke on it and die in my sleep.
MOM: (long sigh) How did you manage to do that?
Mindy: Does it matter?  I just DID!
MOM: Hold on.
*I overhear MOM waking up DAD*
MOM: Here - keep your daughter talking on the phone while I drive over there to make sure she's OK.
DAD: What happened?
MOM:  She fell down the stairs.
DAD: How did she manage to do that?

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, shortly after the Staircase of Fate escapade, I began analyzing the thought process I had while in the act of getting shorter.  When something alarming, sudden, and traumatizing happens to our characters, we tend to make them aware of what's going on.  But the truth is, when something like that occurs in real life, we are so disoriented we have no CLUE what is happening - hence my wondering why my bedroom floor had evaporated.

True, it's hard to write a realistic, sudden scene where your character doesn't know what's going on without confusing or losing your reader.  I was able to think of one example (and my apologies to Sue Grafton, because I'm not able to quote her word for word here).  In one of the earlier Kinsey Milhone stories (I believe it was somewhere in the D-F range) Kinsey is walking out of a house where she just conducted an interview to have a very attractive blonde assassin take a shot at her.  She meets his eyes, and smiles and says "Hi," cause he's that cute, and then a bee flies past her ear and the wooden post beside her face randomly explodes.   He took a shot at her - we know that - but she doesn't, and the casual, realistic description of the scene was such an awesomely fresh take on writing that it stuck with me a long time - I read those books in junior high.

So, chew on that - and by all means let me know if you can think of other examples.  Better yet, if you can tip me off on which Grafton novel that was, I'd appreciate it - I want a re-read!

I'll leave you with a related conversation, that has no bearing on writing.  A week after my Fateful Fall Forward I was still dizzy at random moments, and slightly sluggish.  So I thought - Hey!  Maybe I should go to the Dr!  *dials phone*

Mindy: Yeah I need to get an appt.
Receptionist: And what do we need to see you for today?
Mindy: I fell down my stairs and I think I have a concussion.
Recept: Ma'am? Would you like us to call the squad for you?
Mindy: Oh no, this was like a week ago.
Recept: (long pause) What are your symptoms?
Mindy: I'm dizzy and nauseous, plus I want to sleep a lot.
Recept: For a week now?
Mindy: Yeah
Recept: OK - be here in the office in 15 minutes. I'm taking the liberty of scheduling you for an MRI as well, cause they're going to want to do that.
Mindy: Well, it'll have to be in half an hour, it'll take me that long to drive there.
Recept: You're driving yourself around?
Mindy: Uh... nooooo, no, of course not.

MRI said that my brain is just fine :)  Do you trust modern medicine?

If I can find a way to fit into a writing-themed blog post, I'll share a picture of my superfluous banister!

On Looking Good & Writing Well

Ladies: We talked before a little bit about self-esteem as writers and as people.  In an earlier post I talked about how we manage our households and juggle our time. Today, I've got a relevant Glimpse-Into-MindyLand (oh, it's a fascinating place) that I think will resonate with my readers.

I've got a friend & co-worker who is the blunt type, the one that calls you out on your shit - and really, we all need at least one of those to keep us honest.  She's also my Mary Kay lady.  So when she brought me down some new makeup the other day and showed me how to use it (I freely admit to my ineffectual makeup use) a conversation went thus:

Me: Yeah I know I haven't been doing my face a lot lately for work.

Friend: Or your hair.

Me: Right, I know.  I really need some new clothes, but don't have the extra cash to buy some.  So when I wake up in the morning I look in my closet and think, all these clothes look dumpy, so why bother doing my face and my hair when my clothes look like this?  Then I bought some new clothes, but when I put them on they looked bad cause I gained some weight, which made me feel crappy, so when I woke up the next day I felt even crappier, and thought why do my hair and my face if my body looks bad?  Internal thought: Wow.  I didn't know all that was in there.  I just totally dumped on Friend.

Friend: *cocks her head and looks at me like I'm stupid* You know that's a completely self destructive thought cycle, right?

So sometimes we need that friend who says - "Guess what?  You're totally screwing yourself right now."

And I think this applies in our writing too.  We get down on ourselves.  We re-read last night's work and say, "That is horrible, that is crap, why did I ever think I could be a writer?" And we stop trying.  We read a best seller and think, "This is incredible, this is what it takes to be a writer, I cannot do that."

And isn't that kind of thinking tantamount to comparing ourselves to the models on the magazine covers, or actresses with free time to go the gym everyday and the money to go the salon before they go out?  These writers (some of them) have been doing this for years; their skills are honed, they've had professional feedback from other writers and editors.  Some of them have the ability to make a living off their writing, instead of in those stolen moments.

This same Friend said to me one time, "You know, you could be a 10 but you treat yourself like 5."  So tell yourself today when you sit in front of that laptop / notebook / desktop / blank piece of paper - I'm a 10 dammit!  And I'm going to write like one!

A Conversation with Kendare Blake & Mindy McGinnis

Today I've got something a bit different for you.  An agency mate of mine, Kendare Blake, author of ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD, offered to do an SAT (Successful Author Talk) for me.  Once we'd exchanged a few emails we realized that we were interviewing each other, and decided to do a little freestylin'.  So you get a little back and forth here today, Q&A with both Kendare and I sharing our experiences of writing, queries, agent hunting and publishing.

How long have you been writing? And why this genre?

I wrote my first novel-length work of fiction in the 7th grade. It was about a boy and his horse, sort of a My Friend Flicka rip-off. I called it Master of the Mustangs. Of course the other kids at school called it, Masturbator of the Mustangs, so the title was obviously a problem. As far as genre goes, I try not to genre-lize. After ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD, I might be called a "horror writer" and that's okay. There are worse things to be called. But I write the genre that wants to be written.

What about you? Did you consciously choose YA? And when was that moment when you decided, well, this is it, I'm going to try to get published?

I've been writing for about ten years, and no I started out writing adult fiction. Serendipity landed me a job as a YA librarian in a high school and I thought - well, I'm immersed in the market and spending 40 a week with the target audience... guess I'll try YA! Publication was always the goal, from the beginning. I've never said I just write for myself - I wanted that validation of being published. So yeah, I've been sending out queries for ten years.

How long have you been agent hunting? At any point where you like, "Yeah apparently I suck and should give up and die?"

I almost can't remember. Sure, there's a spreadsheet documenting part of the sub process, but I know there was more. But it fades. I definitely remember that it sucked at times. Oh, it sucks. Being on sub for anything sucks. I used to give myself ultimatums, and then welch on them. I think looking back that submitting to literary magazines was more soul-crushing than looking for an agent. There were so many times when I thought, well shit, I'm never going to get this just right. I'll never have the right project, at the right time, for the right person. And then, after messing up and commiting the typical flubs of subbing too soon, addressing a sub to the wrong Sara, etc., I all of a sudden did have the right project. This whole thing is 70% blood, sweat and talent, 30% out of your control. Those percentages might be off, but you get the drift.

After finding the spreadsheet, I can tell you that actual sub numbers for ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD were low. Six sent. Three rejections outright. Three fulls. Two offers.

So Mindy, speaking of flubs, any you'd care to share? Ever hit that send button and then scream, "Balls!" when you realized you sent it to the wrong place/wrong attachment, etc? And how did you go about compiling your sub list? Everyone has different preferences, but what about an agent really caught your eye?

Ha, yeah. I had a request for the full and attached the wrong manuscript one time. I didn't even know it until I went back to my "Sent" folder to move it into my "God I Hope this Works Out For Me Someday" folder and I just went, "Really? Really, Mindy - you did that?! DUMBASS!" Luckily, agents are people too, so I just sent a following email saying, "Uh, sorry. Don't read that one. It sucks." Or something along those lines. I also didn't realize that once you get the "Your Message Has Been Sent" screen, if you hit refresh (which I was doing for some reason) it sends your email AGAIN. So whoops. Sorry to those twenty or so agents that I bombarded with double queries. I emailed them again and told them to feel free to reject me twice. They all settled for once, though.

For my query list I used sites like QueryTracker, AgentQuery and also two great blogs that do agent interviews and contests - Mother. Write. (Repeat) and Miss Snark's First Victim. Unlike you (jealous, jealous, can you smell us?) I sent out a crap ton of queries before finding my agent. I definitely look for an interest in both humor and grit - which is a hard mix. The ms I snagged my agent with is very dark and bleak, but I've got one loaded with snark up my sleeve too, so I had to be sure to find someone who was going to fit me for the duration, not just the project at hand.

So, Kendare, you submitted to lit magazines at one point your career? Did you get any takers? Do you think that was an important part of your journey as a writer and did it seem to carry weight in your query letters to agents?

First of all, thanks for the heads up about the resending if you hit refresh. I did not know that. I wonder if I ever did it by accident. Anyway, I don't know if the magazine credits carried weight with agents. I know that it generally does if you write literary. And lots of writers have entire careers of short stories. I have a special fondness for those writers and it sort of bugs me when people rag on them to write novels, as if what they're doing isn't awesome enough. But I digress. I placed second in one literary competition. But I had better luck with dark fantasy and horror. I do think it was important. I know I enjoyed it, and I hope to get back to some short fiction soon. But it's absolutely not necessary! If all your tales turn out to be novels, more power to you!

You said you've got another manuscript up your sleeve already. Is this one you had previously written, or is it new? I know everyone has different pacing and process, but can you describe yours? How fast or slow do you like to go?

I do have another ms up my sleeve, or rather, hiding in my closet. It's a previously written YA, that took a few beatings from betas and was knocked unconscious once or twice during the querying process. It's a child of my heart, and I'm in love with it, so hopefully I can breathe new life into it now that I don't feel the crush of the agent hunt and can focus more.

Pacing and process? I've done a "word vomit" and coughed up a novel in as short as three months, but others, like the ms that landed my agent, was more of a nine month regurgitation period. My process varies according to what the project is telling me to do - some novels I've got all planned out in my head (although I never have a physical outline), and others I've honestly sat down at the laptop and said, "Ok book, what happens now?" I've also had characters do or say things I wasn't planning on. A supporting character the ms I'm revising for Adriann right now did something shocking at a pivotal moment - and I was like, "Awesome move, lady!! I did not see that coming but you totally just created the perfect motivation for my other characters...." So, there are times when I feel like I'm not necessary - I'm just channeling my character's stories.

What's you, Kendare? What’s your process? And do you feel an affinity for certain projects that differs from the next? My first YA is my baby, the ms I'm revising is my red headed stepchild.

Like you, I've been known to word vomit. I think my record is a novel in 17 days, but it was stilted and crappy. But I think that was less about the time it took than just having the wrong story. Six months later I found the right way to tell it and now it's the lead-in to the series I want to write after ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD and the sequel.  Lately though, books have taken me about four to five months to write. I don't plot, so I can never be sure. When I started writing Anna's sequel, it was mid-October and I gave myself a deadline for sometime in February. As I started, I wasn't sure where it was going; I was definitely glad I hadn't signed on for a trilogy. But by the end, I wanted to write a third.

I've heard there are people who can write a book in days and come out with publishable material. I know there are people out there who consistently write for years. And some differ from book to book. The important thing for every writer to remember is to be true to their own process. It's hard to hear about fast, successful writers and not think, "Oh shit! They're going to put out ten books a year and I'm only going to do one every three! They'll take all the publishing spots and leave none for me!" But don't think that. They won't.
As far as affinity for certain projects? Now that my time with Cas is over, I miss him. I think all writers get that. But we are human after all, and there's always another shiny ball to chase. I guess I remember them all with equal fondness, but the real writing drive is reserved for the project of the moment, which is, I suppose, the best place for it.