A Brief Note On the Application of Mascara

So, I mentioned earlier that it seems we're unable to put mascara on without opening our mouths. Being the way I am, I had to know why. I asked someone who knows more about makeup than I do (which isn't saying much) and she had the skinny!

It turns out that your eye muscles actually relax when you open your mouth. Try it. Focus on your eye muscles and then open your mouth. You can feel everything go slack up there in eye-land. Pretty interesting stuff.

Turns out it IS a biological imperative! I love it when I say idiotic things that turn out to be correct!

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately:

1) I get a lot of reactions to my Tweets and FB posts. People seem to think my life is interesting - it's really not, I just make it sound that way. For instance last week I chased the Goodyear blimp and dropped my cell into a vat of boiling water. All true. Is it amazing or interesting? No, not really. I think it's human nature to chase blimps, and dropping things is a constant. The boiling water comes as a by-blow of canning tomatoes. It's the dichotomy of the two things when placed side by side that makes me sound fun :)

2) So in today's world we've got genetically modified foods like tomatoes that ripen more quickly and stay firm longer and corn that can defend itself against pests. So why hasn't anyone made lawn grass that only grows to a certain length?

3) Hey ladies - why the hell do we open our mouths while we put mascara on? What's up with that? Have you ever tried NOT to open your mouth when putting mascara on? Not possible. It's like a biological imperative.

Wednesday WOLF - Keep Your Shirt On

I’m such a big nerd that I tend to look up word origins in my spare time because I'm fascinated by our language. The odder the origin, the better. I've got a collection of random information in my brain that makes me an awesome Trivial Pursuit partner, but is completely useless when it comes to real world application. Like say, job applications.

In any case, I thought I'd share some of this random crap with you in the form of the new acronym-ific series. I give you - Word Origins from Left Field - that's right, the WOLF. Er... ignore the fact that the "from" doesn't fit.

Ever tell someone who is getting overly excited or irritated to keep their shirt on? If you're like me, you then instantly wondered why the hell you just said that, because obviously they're not going to start spontaneously disrobing.

Turns out, "Keep your shirt on," is an American saying used to tell someone to calm down, stemming from the fact that a long time ago people only had a few changes of clothes, if any at all. When a man was about to get into a fight, he would take off his shirt so that it wouldn't be ripped or stained. If someone was trying to stop a fight in the hopes that it could be still be settled with words, they told the would-be fighters to "keep their shirts on."

So my brawlers, remain decent. Remember, we're writers. Surely we've got something to say that can settle it before we strip down.