The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

If the Saturday Slash has been helpful to you in the past, or if you’d like for me to take a look at your query please consider making a donation, if you are able.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

The first line of a query letter is so important, it sets the tone for everything else, because of that I want to thank you for setting aside any time of your day to read this. I have put a lot of love and effort into it and I made sure that it can appeal to a wide demographic of people from all walks of life. My passion comes from the need to deliver a well-crafted and honed story that will stir up emotions long since forgotten in the masses. I hope you enjoy. I don't suggest starting out this way. You're right - the first line sets the tone. Right now your tone is polite, but also has nothing to do with your story. You're not telling the agent anything they don't already know - that the first line matters, that they set aside time to read queries, that your book is important to you. They already know these things. They read queries looking to find a book that grabs their interest. Do that.

“KINETIC: THE FIRST ALLIANCE” is the first book in a Sci-fi, Young Adult series and is complete at 81,300 words. Its pace and theme will appeal to the readers of such books as Pittacus Lore’s “I AM NUMBER FOUR” and “STEELHEART” by Brandon Sanderson. I know some people suggest opening with your data - title, word count, and comp tites. I've always suggested hitting them with your hook first. Every book has a title and word count. Give them something distinctive to your book as soon as they start reading. Also, do your best to present this as a stand alone with series potential. YA is very crowded right now and SF can be a hard sell for non-established names. Don't ask them to take a chance on a series if you can get your foot in the door with a standalone.

Alex Carter is a pathological fantasist, naïve idealist, and the poster child for histrionic personality disorder, but he would just tell you he’s “misunderstood.” Big words for a hook for a young adult novel. I happen to know what histrionic personaltiy disorder is, but only becuase I dated one. I think it would be best to assume the person reading this query would be better served to have character traits explained rather then send them Googling for the answer... becuase they won't. One night, his life takes a turn for the chaotic when he is confronted by Shyra—a brash, deadly alien from a far off world—who warns of the inevitable invasion by the expanding Zenakuu Empire.

Shyra unlocks a dormant power Alex never knew he had inside him— the latent ability to manipulate electricity. She informs him he must use this power to guard Earth from the same global annihilation her world barely escaped. She tricks Alex into believing the best way to protect his home from eradication is to go with her and fight in the war. So, she tricks him? Is she not a trustowrthy character? Does he know he's been tricked?

They traverse the nation to recruit four more kinetics, each with a different ability, to fight the upcoming interplanetary battle to the death. With Shyra’s guidance, the impromptu team of kinetics have just one year to train their bodies and minds in a remote location in the U.S. in hopes of stopping the Zenakuu from wiping out the human race and claiming Earth as their new home. Nice, it's fun so far. What I don't have is any feeling of who Alex is, and how he feels about this.

When war infiltrates Earth, the fate of humanity lies in the hands of a teenager who is only sure that he’s impossibly unsure, but Alex will either succeed as the hero Earth needs, or sacrifice everything in an effort to save the ones he’s grown to love. So he grows to love his team? Is there a romance here? Is he finding himself with these other kinetics? That's the kind of thing we need here. The plot is pretty straightforward, so give us some more character insight and emotion.

I have been a writer for over ten years now, and have had non-fiction articles featured in magazines such as Steppin' Out and Jersey Beat. I’ve also hosted creative writing seminars at some local bookstores. My other credentials lie in my degree in the physical sciences. I have studied modern physics, and minored in astronomy. “Kinetic” is fiction, but based on easy to follow real science.

Good bio! You've done a good job of showing that you know what you're talking about on the science end, but that you are also a writer at heart.

As I said, get more emotion into this. Maybe tell us about the other three kinetics and the team (briefly). Tell us more about who Alex is without giving us a DSM diagnosis.

Spencer Hyde On The Sting of Rejection

f there's one thing that many aspiring writers have few clues about, it's the submission process. There are good reasons for that; authors aren't exactly encouraged to talk in detail about our own submission experiences, and - just like agent hunting - everyone's story is different. I managed to cobble together a few non-specific questions that some debut authors have agreed to answer (bless them). And so I bring you the submission interview series - Submission Hell - It's True. Yes, it's the SHIT.

Today’s guest for the SHIT is Spencer Hyde, author of Waiting for Fitz and What The Other Three Don’t Know. Spencer Hyde spent three years of his high school experience visiting Johns Hopkins for severe OCD. He feels particularly suited to write this novel because he’s lived through his protagonists’ obsessions. Spencer worked at a therapeutic boarding school before earning his MFA and his PhD specializing in fiction. He wrote Waiting for Fitz while working as a Teaching Fellow in Denton, Texas. He is currently an assistant professor of English at Brigham Young University.

How much did you know about the submission process before you were out on subs yourself?

I knew a bit about the process because I’d spent years sending short stories to literary journals. So, really, I knew a lot about waiting. Forever. Like, an entire lifetime. 3-6 months is an average wait, and it tends to be more like 9-12 months for any kind of response in the short story world. Perhaps I was pleasantly surprised to be getting responses from editors within 6 months on the regular. That was nice. That was comforting, even though it was often a negative response. I like to think that the relationship building that occurs through the sub process is more important than we think—imagine getting a personal rejection (I got a few), and knowing you have an “in” with that editor for some future manuscript? That’s big! 

Did anything about the process surprise you?

It probably should not have come as a surprise, and ultimately it was tempered by my sage agent, but I was a bit thrown by the range of subjectivity in judging any specific genre. What some editors preferred, others disliked. It helped me understand that you don’t just need the right ingredients, but you need to find the editor who likes the cookies cooked four minutes longer than normal to the point they’re crispy (my favorite kind of cookie). Some editors want the same ingredients, but they like a soft cookie. I was surprised, I guess, at how many variations you can have on the hardness of a cookie. Crispy for the win, I say. 

However, I will say that editors are wonderfully honest. My agent told me, “You’ll need to find an editor who loves the voice the way I love it,” not, “The voice isn’t working.” One editor responded with, “I love the premise, but the voice isn’t to my taste.” That’s fine! Keep looking for the editor who likes all the ingredients and the exact way you cooked up that ms. Then you’ll get the response you’ve been hoping for: “I adore this voice.” And then you can eat your emotions in sweets, like I do, happy or sad. Or not. But if you don’t eat them, mind sending them my way?

Did you research the editors you knew had your ms? Do you recommend doing that? 

Don’t do it! Unless, of course, you want to find short, vague biographies online and then get sweaty palms and imagine an entirely new life up for that editor and what they might be doing at 5 in the morning other than reading your ms, and unless you want to stay up into the wee hours of the morning picturing that editor and how they might be feeding their dog and perhaps thinking about that one line in your ms that they just can’t shake and being like, “Wow, I guess I need to give that one more read before sending a response,” and imagining that’s the only reason you haven’t heard back from them and then, yes, of course they’ll ask you for an entire series based on that one character you love so much because who wouldn’t love that character? And before long you’re imagining yourself at some Oscar after-after party saying, “No, it really was my editor—I mean, had she not seen the potential in that character, none of this would have been possible. What’s that? Yes, you can have the global rights to book 742 for $1 billion, but let me check with my agent just to be sure. I think books 1-741 are already contracted and Netflix wants in on the deal ASAP so I can’t be too sure anymore. In fact, maybe you should up that price.” 

Don’t do it. Stick to your WIP. Focus 100% of your energies on that WIP, and if you can’t do that, work on promoting other writers. Focus on helping others succeed, and you will find that karma come back your way. Also, if you help others, you will know who will return the favor when you land that Netflix special.

What was the average amount of time it took to hear back from editors?

I’d say it came in around 3 months or thereabouts on average. Some were a few weeks with the ms, and some still haven’t responded and it’s been 7 months. 

What do you think is the best way for an author out on submission to deal with the anxiety?

I recommend a squirrel suit and a trip to the Swiss Alps. That way, you’ll be more worried about making the wrong movement when flying at 100 mph than you will about the editors reading fifty pages into your book before getting word that their newly adopted cat, named Peaches, is in fact a feral cat who used to go by Venom, and they don’t have time for a new project from a new author because they have bigger worries, like cat scratch fever and, well, death. 

But also you should really be spending time reading and writing. Until you can’t anymore. Read everything you can get your hands on, and focus on that WIP!

If you had any rejections, how did you deal with that emotionally? How did this kind of rejection compare to query rejections? 

People often say things like, “I took it in stride,” but really I heard bad news and it stung. Let it sting. Let it hurt for a bit, and then get back to work. Perhaps I’m not emotionally stable enough to answer this question properly, but I will say that I saw one of my favorite athletes (Lamar Jackson—Go Ravens!) the other day wearing a shirt that said Nobody Cares, Work Harder and I thought that jived really well with my thoughts on rejection. Will anybody but you care you got rejected? Sure, those close to you who love you and want you to succeed. But at the end of the day, will it change the editor’s mind? Not a chance. Work harder, and I promise you’ll change their mind with the next ms.

If you got feedback on a rejection, how did you process it? How do you compare processing an editor’s feedback as compared to a beta reader’s? 

I consult with my agent, and ask her what she thinks. That’s the best thing to do: get a second opinion from someone who knows the business. Then, I get back to work on that WIP.

An editor’s feedback is much more meaningful to me because they are the gatekeepers in the publishing world, and know exactly what it takes to get that ms through the door. If they think you need more external pressure on the pacing or that you need more restrained dialogue, listen! They know what they’re talking about. Beta readers are wonderful, and necessary, but don’t put that feedback above an editor seeking out a book in the genre you write. Take that editor feedback to the beta readers and ask them to read again with that specific feedback in mind. That will work wonders. 

When you got your YES! how did that feel? How did you find out – email, telephone, smoke signal?

It was wonderful! But more important than the great feeling that came with a success of that magnitude was the way it motivated me to work harder on the next novel.

Did you have to wait a period of time before sharing your big news, because of details being ironed out? Was that difficult?

I didn’t have to wait long, but things certainly changed from the submitted ms to the final product which surprised some beta readers. Just remember that the process takes a lot of time, and you can really use all that time for the WIP. Have I mentioned WIPs yet? I should. I should just keep saying it. Spend time on your WIP. Always be invested in a new project. I find that keeps me awake at night not wondering about Venom or Oscar parties or a squirrel suit, but focused on a new character and a new story that I know will change the world.

Tom Lutz on The Constantly Changing Landscape of Publishing

Today's guest is Tom Lutz, editor in chief of the l. A Review of Books, a non profit dedicated to promoting writing about literature, culture and the arts. Tom teaches creative writing at the University of California. Tom has dovetailed his wanderlust and passion for writing into seven nonfiction books, some on travel one on the history of slackers, another on the history of tears. His first crime novel, Born Slippy, was published in January. Tom joined me today to talk about some of the monumental changes he's seen in publishing during this decade as well as how global trade and politics affects every day artists.  

Listen to the Episode Now