A Picture Of A Thousand Torments, Or: A Literal Pile of Rejection Letters

I often tell aspiring writers that I started writing queries back when everyone knew what an SASE was (Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope). Those were the days when receiving letters to yourself in your own handwriting made your heart sink... and honestly it still kind of does. I recently went through my box of rejection letters - yes, I had box for them - in order to remind myself of the struggle.

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My debut, NOT A DROP TO DRINK was my fifth finished novel. I wrote four books before that, none of them deserving of publication. And that's said without bitterness. I've read the manuscripts I wrote 15 years ago. Or, I tried. I actually DNF'd one of them.

Which one?

Funny you should ask. Check out this rejection letter I received for my upcoming release, THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES... then check out the date on the letter.

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That's right, June of 2001.

The novel that is releasing next week was rejected - over and over again - 15 years ago. And with good reason. The first (and subsequent) drafts of that particular manuscript were below subpar. They were, in fact, quite bad. When I decided to revisit the concept with the intention of revising it as a YA novel, I thought I might use sections of it. Maybe a scene or two. Perhaps some dialogue.

Um, no. I even blogged at the time about how bad it was.

There was nothing salvageable about that manuscript. It was poorly written, had a saggy middle and an abrupt end, populated with characters that I cared little for who spoke in awkward, unbelievable dialogue. Is it really that bad? Yes, it really is. If you're curious, check the hashtag #BadFirstNovel on Twitter where I shared snippets back in January of 2015.

You'll see by the handwritten note at the top of the query from 2001 that I did garner a partial request. More than one, actually. But none of them turned into a request for a full, and again, if you check out #BadFirstNovel, you'll see why.

I'm sharing all of this with you not as yet another example of "never give up," but rather, "never stop improving." If I had continued to query for fifteen years but never bothered to improve my craft, I guarantee I would still be receiving rejections.

W.E. Hickson famously said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again."

I would add to that, "Ask yourself why. And fix it."