The times are changing, and nowhere more than in romance. We’re seeing more books with diverse casts, from diverse authors. And we’re seeing all kinds of people find their happily ever after or at least, happily for now. As both a romance reader and a romance author, I love this!
What’s still missing for me, though, are romances featuring women who are just as physically capable — if not more so — than the men who adore them. I want to read about independent, athletic, boss-ass bitches finding men who love, respect, and support them for all that they are. Not damsels in distress looking for a knight in shining armor (or sexy millionaire) to come to the rescue.
I mean, if that’s your jam, enjoy. It’s just not mine.
In fact, I almost missed out on everything wonderful about the romance genre (including writing it) because of the prevalence of this trope. I stumbled upon my first romance, a bodice-ripper complete with Fabio cover, as a teenager. Like all things with words on them that passed through my fingers, I read it.
All I remember is something about his turgid manhood entering her moist, deep well (I had to look up turgid). And how much I liked absolutely nothing about the story because I could not relate to the heroine in any way, shape, or form.
What I wanted, what I needed, were examples of outdoorsy, independent women who enjoyed sex unabashedly. Women who built their lives on their own terms and were celebrated for their power and uniqueness. The kind of stories that would show me I could celebrate my own strengths and abilities and choices and goals as an avid outdoors person—even if they didn’t include getting married or having children—and still find love.
These are the same kind of stories I still want and need in my life.
Don’t get me wrong… Strong Alpha female characters are out there and so are Beta males. And I am starting to see more, particularly in indie publishing. But it’s still not enough, and it’s still not showing the kinds of women I most want to see represented in romance novels—especially in outdoor adventure and sports romances. That’s a big part of why I write them.
If you’re a strong, capable woman a good man can be hard to find—in life, and in romance novels.
From the time we’re born, society tells us women are the weaker sex. That we definitely need protecting, if not outright saving. That our only value lies in finding a man, raising a family, and supporting our spouse on their path to success.
Because we women are too weak, too emotional, too fragile, less intelligent, and wholly incapable of taking care of ourselves or succeeding on our own abilities and merits. I say, “Screw that!”.
I don’t believe any woman needs rescuing just because she’s a woman, any more than I think every man should come to a woman’s rescue just because he’s a man. Or he happens to own a nice, white horse.
Thankfully, we’re finally seeing more young girls in real life crushing it rock climbing, mountain biking, surfing, skiing, skateboarding, and more (in addition to team sports, where we’re fighting hard for equal pay and recognition). Historically, though, we’ve seen too few examples in romance novels of women who are smart, sexy, athletic, and capable of taking care of themselves.
One of my goals as a romance writer is to change that. So, my stories are full of women who are kick-ass outdoor athletes, and the men who admire and adore them. These women want equal partners, not saviors.
Outdoor adventure sports can be the great equalizer between men and women in romance novels.
Throughout my more than 30 years of rafting and kayaking and backpacking and skiing and mountain biking, I’ve faced my fair share of doubters simply because I’m a smaller woman. But what I learned is: most women might not be as physically strong as most men pound-for-pound, but we more than make up for it with technique, finesse, knowledge, and inner strength.
Also, Mother Nature will issue a beat down whenever she wants. To whomever she wants.
She does not care about your sex, gender, or income level. She doesn’t care where you went to school, or what you do for a living. She doesn’t care whether you have the latest, lightest, most expensive gear or you’re still using the same equipment you bought on clearance five years ago.
Even in less adrenalized outdoor activities like hiking or backpacking, anyone can miss a turn on the trail and end up lost or at least far from where you thought. Or sprain an ankle or break a leg. Or miscalculate food needs and spend days hungry, or break a tent pole, or have to deal with any number of other mishaps or misjudgments.
A fun outdoor adventure can always, easily, turn into a not-at-all-fun epic misadventure. Or a rescue. Or worse. This makes it fertile ground for raising the stakes on my characters—and flipping the power dynamic between the men and women.
I want attractive, feminine heroines who are equal to or better than men in athletic pursuits that have historically been male dominated.
Give me a story about Olympic skiers where the woman wins Gold and falls for the competition’s coach. Or an enemies-to-lovers romance where the man is too cocky, and the woman kicks his ass on the climbing wall. I’m not a big team sports person, but I’d love a hockey romance where the women are the ones out on the ice. Then they fall in love with someone sweet and thoughtful, who appreciates them and supports them and thinks they’re amazing (and of course great in bed!).
Since I couldn’t find these kinds of stories, I started writing what I wanted to read based on my lifetime of experience working and playing in the outdoors. My first books were three, steamy ski romance novellas, and I am releasing a full-length backpacking romance, Wild at Heart, in May 2022.
Incorporating my love of outdoor sports lets me level the playing field by putting my characters in unique situations that test their mettle and show who they truly are. I also like to flip the script on my men and make them softer. Sometimes not as good at the sport as the woman. Usually more ready to listen and talk and compromise—at least by the end.
In my stories, I show women who are highly capable, often muscular, and usually kick-ass outdoor athletes. They might wear makeup and do their nails, and they might not. What they all have in common is they’re never looking for a man, or anyone else, to rescue them.
Sometimes, the women are the experts at the sport or the ones doing the rescuing. At least physically. Emotionally it may be the other way around.
Either way, the men in my stories are willing to step back and realize life isn’t all about their needs and agenda. That a woman doesn’t need to give up her goals and happiness in service of his. Most importantly, they find physically strong, successful, boss ass bitch ladies sexy as hell and want to be supportive, loving partners to them.
Regardless of whether a woman fits in society’s tiny box of what’s supposed to make us attractive and desirable, I believe they deserve the same love, respect, adoration, and orgasms as anyone else. And in my outdoor adventure romance novels I make sure they get all of that and more.
Award-winning author Stacy Gold gave up her day job as Communications Director of a nonprofit mountain biking organization to write steamy romance novels filled with independent, adventurous women – and the men who can’t resist them. After making a living writing all kinds of non-fiction for more than fifteen years, it’s the most fun she’s ever had with a keyboard and screen. When Stacy’s not busy reading or writing, you can find her dancing, laughing or playing hard in the mountains with her wonderful hubby and happy dog.