Jacqueline Friedland on What Makes a Female Character “Strong”? Then v. Now

If you are a regular reader of women’s fiction, you’ve probably heard the phrase “strong female character” thrown around with increasing frequency these days. Many of us are in favor of reading books that feature strong female leads, but most bookstore or library patrons don’t stop to consider what it actually means to be a “strong woman” within a story or elsewhere. Once we begin to examine this phrasing, it becomes apparent that as a society, our collective modern-day definition of a “strong woman” has evolved over time and is currently very different from what it once was. 

There have long been multiple definitions of “strength.” For starters, we must acknowledge the fact that strength can refer to superior physical prowess or to a hearty metaphorical backbone, meaning how someone behaves. Let’s start with the easy one: physical strength. Back in the day, (think Victorian times or even earlier), a woman could be considered strong for obvious reasons, like being able to carry multiple heavy buckets of water uphill from the well or heave large piles of laundered clothing along with herself while climbing a ladder up from a cellar. These domestic skills, as well as capability with tasks like sewing, laundering, cooking, and cleaning, were the ones that led a woman to be respected. Even better was if the woman had a body strong enough to birth multiple healthy children, providing her husband with offspring to help work the land or heirs to carry on the family legacy. These were the accomplishments that society applauded, and so a woman who could achieve them with ease was valued for her strength. Today, many women are still engaged in physical labor that requires great strength, but the activities which society values have changed. Now, if asked about females with physical strength, many people would look to professional athletes as the pinnacles of success. Where a useful and industrious homemaker would once have been considered a great asset, domestic work is less valued today than it was in centuries past. With more women working outside the home, new metrics are being used to evaluate female strength.

Long ago, a woman was admired if she had moral virtue, religious piety, modesty, and a strong work ethic. Most of all, self-sacrifice was the utmost commendable trait. Women were believed to be the moral touchstones and influencers for their families. Thanks to restrictive gender roles and pre-set expectations, there wasn’t much a woman could do to impact those around herself in ways that would be considered positive, other than keeping a tidy home, instructing her children in manners, and performing other wifely duties with grace and skill. 

Luckily, there were women who broke the mold, even during those restrictive eras long ago, and acted in ways that those of us with more modern sensibilities would consider to be deserving of the highest praise. We are all aware that women are conspicuously absent from the historical record. It’s not because they weren’t participating in the major events of their day. They just had to do it behind closed doors. Becoming involved in matters outside the domestic sphere required a level of creativity and bravery well beyond what most of us can imagine. 

One woman who challenged her times by participating in activist activities in the form of abolitionist endeavors, is Ann Phillips, who was an American hero born in the early 1800s. Physically, Ann was the opposite of strong. She suffered from a mysterious illness that was never diagnosed and which left her bedridden for days at a time. It is widely conjectured now that the condition she had was rheumatoid arthritis, but that autoimmune condition had not yet been discovered during Ann’s day. Because of her symptoms, poor Ann was often prevented from leaving her house for weeks on end. Even so, she managed to find ways to continue spreading the abolitionist message. Whether by writing speeches for her husband, the great orator Wendell Phillips, to deliver in public or by sending letters that helped create and solidify clandestine abolitionist plans, Ann did not give up. She was a pinnacle of what people in modern times would consider a “strong woman.” 

Now, in 2023, the definition of “strength” continues to evolve. We live in time where women no longer aspire to beauty and domestic bliss as the be-all-end-all. Women aspire to this amorphous concept of strength, which is now associated with resilience, empathy, vulnerability (all of which were qualities that Ann displayed in spades during the antebellum era). A person need only scroll through a social media site to see mothers wishing daughters happy birthday with messages like: “to my strong, resilient, brave, empathetic daughter.” This is vastly different from the wishes sent to women in greeting cards of generations past, that read: “to my beautiful daughter,” or “to the prettiest girl in town.” Similarly, when “influencers” first appeared on social media, advertisers tried to show us all the beautiful people as a way to convince us to buy whatever they were selling. Now, the advertisers have wised up, and they are showing us “real” people instead, people who look like us, women who aren’t wearing makeup, or who didn’t have time for a salon blowout before the photo shoot. We are moving away from images of perfection toward a more realistic approach because society has come to appreciate that a woman cannot be strong without being her authentic self. 

A strong woman seeks happiness actively. She challenges herself and those around her. Strength is no longer about heavy lifting or individual achievement so much as it is about collective empowerment. No longer is a strong woman the one who can make the floor shine brightest with her mop. It is the women who engage, create, resist, persist, and who lift the rest of us up along with them who are ultimately the strongest women of all.

Jacqueline Friedland is the USA Today best-selling and multi-award-winning author of He Gets That From Me, That's Not a Thing, and Trouble the Water. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and NYU Law School, she practiced briefly as a commercial litigator in Manhattan and taught Legal Writing and Lawyering Skills at the Benjamin Cardozo School of Law. She returned to school after not too long in the legal world, earning her Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College. Jacqueline regularly reviews fiction for trade publications and appears as a guest lecturer. When not writing, she loves to exercise, watch movies with her family, listen to music, make lists, and dream about exotic vacations. She lives in Westchester, New York, with her husband, four children, and two very lovable dogs.

Mona Alvarado Frazier on The Grittier Side of Writing

Growing up, I was an avid reader. But none of the books I read in my childhood reflected my environment and daily challenges. There were no stories about the people I encountered—the ones who dealt with poverty and discrimination or were involved in social justice issues and community projects.

My family and community's obstacles weren’t reflected in contemporary literature. It wasn’t until college that I discovered novels written by Latinos or Latinas that mirrored these experiences.

As a writer, I wanted to reveal these experiences and exemplify important issues often overlooked regarding young people and those of color.

Each year, around 12 percent of American high schoolers experience emotional, physical, or sexual violence at the hands of someone they date. Young women, transgender teens, and gender-nonconforming youth are disproportionately affected.

It's essential to recognize that IPV affects young people of color at a disproportionate rate. According to studies, Latinas and Black women experience IPV at a rate much higher than White women, and Native American women are twice as likely to experience IPV than any other group.

The statistics are alarming. Experiences of physical or sexual violence in childhood are reported by 60-70% of incarcerated women or girls. Many of the perpetrators are people familiar to the victim.

In my novel, The Garden of Second Chances, I sought to amplify the voices of young women in prison and the often ignored issue of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV).

My main character, Juana Maria, is a seventeen-year-old mother from Mexico who lives in the U.S. with the father of her child. She experiences the terror of IPV firsthand. Her boyfriend's abusive behavior escalates until she feels she has no choice but to run away with her baby during the abuse. Tragically, this results in his death, and she is convicted of manslaughter.

In prison, Juana Maria learns her situation is all too common among young women. Many have experienced IPV but are hesitant to talk about it, unsure whether their experiences constitute abuse.

Unique challenges can contribute to the lack of reporting the abuse: economic instability, fear of the police, fear of deportation, the lack of access to resources, cultural or religious views, and family or peer pressure.

IPV is a power-based behavior that uses control and manipulation to maintain relationships. It can take many forms, from physical violence to emotional abuse, and it doesn't always happen in person. Cyberstalking and the non-consensual distribution of intimate images are also forms of IPV. These behaviors can occur while dating a partner, but various forms of manipulation by the perpetrator may mask the red flags.

One of the biggest challenges with IPV is that people often suffer in silence. They may not realize the experience is abuse, or they may be afraid to speak out for fear of retaliation, or others won’t believe them. This can lead to long-term effects: PTSD, depression, and substance abuse.

In my novel, I explore these factors to highlight the obstacles to reporting IPV and clarify why many young women don’t report abuse.

As writers, we must tackle tough subjects head-on and raise awareness. We need to give voice to those who have been silenced or don’t know where to access resources.

If you write young adult fiction, consider exploring topics about the harsher side of life. Your story could make a difference in the lives of young people who desperately need to understand that they are not alone.

Mona Alvarado Frazier is fulfilling her passion for writing after decades of working with incarcerated youth and raising three kids as a single parent. When she’s not penning a story, she’s traveling, reading, watching K-dramas, or tending her succulent gardens and two grand kitties. She is a member of SCBWI, Macondo Writers, and a co-founder of LatinxPitch, a Twitter event. Mona’s second book, a historical fiction, is scheduled for December 2024. You can visit her website for more information. 

My Case Against Author Swag

I have never been comfortable wasting money and the earth’s environmental resources on trinkets that people will just throw away. Sure I will make business cards and bookmarks with the name of my new novel, The Belonger, on them but I will not purchase swag. Cups, pins, water bottles, hats, bags and the one I hate the most—beer koozies. How many water bottles does one person require? And if you don’t drink beer, that koozie is going right in the garbage. I am aware that only 21% of waste plastic is recycled or burned, the 79% that remains ends up in landfills or out there in the environment. The worst part is, it stays there forever in one form or another, because plastic doesn’t decompose. So no plastic promotional items for me and my books.

Let’s open our minds wider. Why not give your potential readers something they actually need and want. Something that is heartfelt and, the best part is, it’s free. You can give them your time.

Long ago I found a study by Goodreads that said the #1 reason people buy books is because they know the author. Upon further examination I realized they may not personally know the writer but may know of them or have seen their name before. So I decided to get my name out there by providing content in Vermont that benefits our community. I started writing articles called Take Me Back in which I celebrated locals who share a favorite living memory; I helped them get it down on paper and then ran around looking for photographs to support their story.

The articles were immediately popular in our local paper and became a column. Thanks, in part, to the Vermont Arts Council the column became a fundraising book which will launch the same day as The Belonger. It’s a beautiful keepsake edition. Part coffee table book and part a story of how the Take Me Back articles came about. The 27 chapters have a full story arc that weaves through the gorgeous photographs. It is a story about stories with lots of cool photos. 

Yes, I had to go out pitching like crazy, but all contributors donated their work and local businesses paid for the graphic design and printing. Therefore, 100% of the profits will go to history projects for The Mad River Valley in Vermont. After a lot of work, our fundraising became a 501 (c)(3) non- profit called Take Me Back Inc. 

In June the column will grow into a podcast and local television show. I am giving my time away, but it is rewarding how much people enjoy my work. They send me emails thanking me. I print them out, and if I have a blue day, I pull them out of the drawer to read again. One said, “We are so grateful that you hold up our history and celebrate us. But it’s also a chance to realize what a good writer you are.” An email like that is so heartwarming. And it makes my point doesn’t it? 

All the while my name is out there. The articles conclude with Mary Kathleen Mehuron writes books and lives in Waitsfield. You can pre-order her new novel, The Belonger, now. 

By doing good work for our larger community, more and more people feel they know me. I have noticed that my first two novels’ book sales have gone up and you know what? I feel that I am making a difference too.

Maybe you don’t have the time to start a non-profit, but you can help out someone with the skills you have developed by writing. And it will be noticed. Be a voice for others that don’t have your confidence. For example, you could work with the very young or the very old to tell their stories. It has never been easier to publish across so many venues. Or go to your school district and say, “I want to pilot a project. I know I could coach middle school kids to construct a story arc and create a hand made book. Your budget is tight. Let me volunteer to do it.”

You could post a free workshop online and let your readers know about it. Or offer your talent as a volunteer editor and coach to organizations that need help. I know one woman who created a workshop for women in prison and just made sure people knew about it. There are so many needs and possibilities. The best part is as people come to know you more and more, their feeling about you will be positive. That, and the products you create will not wind up in a landfill.  

Mary Kathleen Mehuron is a career educator who made a splash with her first book, Fading Past, an autobiographical novel whose protagonist, like Mary Kathleen, grew up Irish-Catholic in New Jersey. The Opposite of Never is Mary Kathleen’s second book, and to finish it, she traveled alone to Havana in January 2015 in order to experience the city before it became Americanized. Mary Kathleen lives and teaches in a ski town in Vermont where they call her Kathy. This is where she and her husband raised three sons,  and she is an occasional columnist and writes curriculum daily for private math and science students. She takes extended time to work on her novels on Grand Turk Island and in Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom.