5 Things Not To Say To Writers... And 5 Things To Definitely Say

Last week I blogged about the first world problems of a published author. Yes, our live are pretty awesome. Are the easy? No. We’ve still got problems. They’re just not query trenches problems… and no, I don’t think any of us would ever trade it.

Today, I’d like to talk about things that are said to me… often. They aren’t bad things, or insulting things (although I do get those too, just usually not related to my writing). They’re just… things that I hear a lot, and I’m guessing other authors do, too.

Again, I don’t have a hard life. Consider this post first-world problems of a published author, part two.

5 Things Not To Say

1) You Still Publishing Books? Yes, because it’s my only form of income. I doubt lawyers, doctors, farmers or teachers are often asked if they are still in their chosen career path. But here’s the other thing - what if the author you’re talking to is on a downswing? What if they can’t sell another book and their publisher dropped them and they don’t have an agent anymore? That’s incredibly painful, and not something that’s easily spoken about.

2) How’s The Book Selling? If the author is traditional published, they probably don’t know. We typically get our royalty statements once every six months, and they cover the period of time three to four months prior to that. If they are self-published they have a much better grasp on how the book is selling, but… did you just ask how much money they make?

3) You Should Make Your Book Into A Movie. We all would if we could. A movie requires things like actors, set designers, directors, producers, recording equipment, editors, and probably a million dollars. Movie making is incredibly difficult, very expensive, and best left to the people that do that for a living. We’re writers.

4) I Have The Idea For Your Next Book. No, I have the idea for my next book. Sounds like you have an idea for a book that you’re excited about. You should totally write it.

5) I Love Your Work! I Illegally Downloaded It! Cool. What do you do for a living and is there a way I can reap all of the benefits of it without paying you anything? Let me know.

5 Things To Definitely Say

1) What Are You Working On? Authors are usually pretty happy to talk about our work in progress. This is a safe question because even if the author isn’t under contract or hasn’t sold a book in awhile - or even if they lost their agent - chances are they are still writing, and would love a chance to talk about their current project.

2) Are You Going to Write A Sequel To… Most authors are going to love the fact that you’re asking for more of their work. In my case, I get this question all the time about A Madness So Discreet. I don’t mind answering honestly - as of right now, no. This is because a sequel generally only nets about 40% of the audience of the first book, and A Madness So Discreet hasn’t really sold well enough for my publisher to green light a sequel. But - the fact that you love it makes me happy, and this gives me the opportunity to encourage you to tell your friends about it, in the hopes a sequel could be forthcoming. Word of mouth is still the best marketing out there.

3) Your Book Made Me Feel… Honestly, I love hearing this. I made you feel!! I don’t even mind if it made you angry, or sad, or any range of negative emotions. A couple months ago I had a girl walk into one of my signings and say, “Mindy McGinnis, I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” I loved it. She was seriously aggrieved with the ending of one of my books, and I told her what a huge compliment that is to a writer.

4) Will You Sign My Book? Yes. Always. Forever. Twice, if you want. I’ve had people walk up to my table with a stack of all my published titles, then apologize for asking me to sign them. Don’t apologize! This is the highest compliment that can ever be paid to me. You love my work! You bought my books! The absolute least I can do is sign them for you. Personally, I don’t mind if people approach me in public, either. Don’t hold all authors to this, but if you see me and you have a book on you (or nearby), yes, yes, I will sign it for you. Of course I will, thank you for asking.

5) You Probably Don’t Remember Me, But I Met You At… Honestly, no we probably don’t. We see a lot of faces. But, this is still an excellent thing to say to us because you’re telling us you care enough about us, or our work, to come out and see us more than once. We’re all busy. Making time in your schedule to come to an event is a huge compliment, and signings are notoriously dull for authors. If you met us before, tell us! Give us a little reminder of where, and while we might not remember you, we can probably still recall the event, and thank you for being enough of a super fan to support us by coming out for events!

Valentine's Day For The Non-Romantic

You may have guessed this, but I'm not a romantic.

I grew up on a farm, and while others have always said it's the thought that counts, I'm much more impressed by physical labor and an eye for practicality. It's February in Ohio, and if a guy gave me a wood cord for Valentine's Day, I'd be impressed.

It's true that there might be a tinge of bitterness involved in my Valentine's Day thoughts. I wasn't an attractive pre-teen and don't remember getting anything for Valentine's Day until my junior year - by a guy who dumped me shortly thereafter, my first heartbreak.

As I often answer people who ask me why there's a distinct aversion to the happily-ever-after in my novels, it's because I'm divorced. I'll add that my ex's birthday is very close to Valentine's Day.

And - time for the zinger - my annual pap smear (to which we've recently added a mammogram) always lands around February 14, bringing an added layer of meaning to V-Day.

So yeah, not a fan.

But - I'm not against it either. I get love. I'm in love, for heaven's sake. I just happen to have fallen for a guy just like me, a guy who might bump his Corona against mine at dinner and say, "Oh yeah by the way, happy Valentine's Day." But he'll probably do it on Wednesday or Thursday because he often doesn't know what day of the week it is.

All that being said, I know there are romantics in the world and I don't deny them this day to celebrate. As a former Hallmark employee (long story) I actually get my back up a bit when Valentine's Day is referred to as a Hallmark Holiday. Valentine's Day has ancient historical roots, ones I won't bother linking off to here because I'm sure you'll find them everywhere tomorrow.

However, if you want to mark your calendars for my favorite made-up holiday, flip forward to October and make a note. October 14th is National Feral Cat Day.

On that day, I encourage you to find one, and hug it.

Why You Should Still Write When Everything Around You Is Going To Hell

Writing is not easy.

It's never been easy. I'm not the kind of writer who springs out of bed, eager to start the day's work. In fact I've only sprung from my bed once, and that was when I thought there was a burglar in my house and the only thing I had to defend myself with was a thirty pound bag of cat litter.

But that's another story.

There's a great hashtag on Twitter at the moment, #WriteYourResistance, and I encourage anyone who has characters who stand up when they're told to sit down or shout when they're told to shut up to check it out. And while those are easily recognizable acts of opposition, equally important are the characters who enact quieter forms - refusing to kick someone who is down, or even helping them up.

It's hard to tear yourself away from the news feed to work on a piece of fiction. Our fake worlds feel paper thin, motivations for people who don't exist hard to come by when a paradigm shift is happening in reality, and there are impactful actionable items on your to-do list that may shape tomorrow.

Those things are important. Go do them.

Then come back to your book.

What I'm working on right now is a humorous paranormal. Yes, you read that right. It's a weird, quirky little thing that no one is ever going to label as important. My characters aren't planting their flags or taking the moral high ground. They're running down spooky eBay listings and wondering if the little bit of plastic fork they accidentally bit off is digestible.

So how can I turn off the reality IV and put my time into something so trite?

Because I might be reading 1984 right now, but last night I watched Romancing the Stone.

For fifteen years I worked in a high school in one of the poorest counties in my state. Some of my students didn't have heat, clean clothes, or food in their stomachs. Those kids weren't reading heavy, message-laden books. Not because they were incapable, but because they know enough about reality.

What they were looking for was escape.

And they found it in books.

So write your book, even now. Write to communicate your message of strength and love. Write for that reader in the future that needs to get away for an hour or two.

Just write.