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Twelve-year-old Ella is still reeling from the sudden loss of her mother when her father’s oldest friend is murdered in Scotland. Good hook that draws us into the story right away. I would strike "Scotland" here and insert below, as it just tips the sentence into long-winded. She must accompany him to isolated Ravenfell Manor for Cornelius’s funeral. Ella is unsettled by the house which is filled with eccentric curios and precious objects, almost certainly haunted, and has far too many Ravens of both the feathered and family varieties. Not sure what you mean by "family varieties?"
After her father is arrested for the theft of a valuable artefact, could be Australian spelling? In the US it's "artifact" Ella is forced to cancel her plans to fly home Strike "is forced..." It's implied and teams up with Cornelius’s son Lachie to try to clear his name. What is Lachie's interest in clearing her father's name? In in the interest of the old friendship? Or is his father's good name impugned as well? They become aware that Strike "they become aware..."three hidden treasures lie at the heart of the mystery, as well as Cornelius’s murder, but struggle to unravel the dead laird’s cryptic clues Strike everything after "clues" to discover the location of the priceless objects. Someone else is searching too, roaming the manor at night, masquerading as an ancient Raven ghost. Again, is Raven a family name? It's not entirely clear
When Ella’s father is accused of even more serious crimes in order to keep him away from Ravenfell and the hunt for Cornelius’s treasures, Strike everything up to this point she and Lachie are drawn into a dangerous contest with the increasingly ruthless Ghost, who always seems to be a step ahead of them. Just as they finally seem to be getting somewhere, they make a mistake which has life-threatening consequences. The Ghost locks them in the ancient underground tunnel, sealing the crypt doors with tape. Unless they can decipher the final clues and find the code to open the door to the airlock and Cornelius’s secret room, Strike "C's secret room" they will die. And even if they can achieve this, they will never be safe unless they find a way to unmask and trap the Ghost. Strike previous sentence Ella must draw on previously unknown reserves of courage and possibly a little unsolicited help from the supernatural world if she is to save all of their lives.
RAVENFELL is a 38,000 word middle grade adventure/mystery. It is a stand-alone title (with potential for a sequel) that will appeal to readers who enjoy the creepy Gothic settings of The Night Gardener and Serafina and the Twisted Cloak, the mystery elements of Greenglass House and the quirky artefacts of The Ten Thousand Doors of January.
I have had a number of articles published in Good Reading Magazine (Australia) about visiting the settings which inspired my favourite authors. My travels have also sparked the ideas for my own storytelling. As a teacher and librarian, I enjoyed working with middle grade students to foster and expand their love of literature and am excited to read and write fiction for this age group. I live in Melbourne, Australia.
Great bio! Great comp titles! Overall this is strong, you just need to weed it down, as it's a bit wordy in spots. Trim it up, and I think you're ready to go!
