Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.
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My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.
Memories are a wormhole jump. I believed mine were true. At thirteen, my early impressions were overlaid by questions. Exploring them could lead me home to acceptance or cut me adrift. This is pretty vague, and to be honest with you I'm not sure what a wormhole jump is. I know what a wormhole is, but using it with that phrasing just had me kind of scratching my head for a second, which isn't great for a hook.
Pa was a nonconformist, and our American pie was served in a soup tureen. Born in a commune, I lived in a van with siblings and fosters. I could skin a snake and sneak into campgrounds for a shower but struggled to eat in public. Again, this is all very interesting, but I'm not sure what's really being said here. I don't know why you would struggle to eat in public, or how it's related to the story here.
Our shifting landscape was darkened by mental illness, immune disease, and loss, but Ma’s storytelling and faith lit our way. We counted on humor and imagination. Everything else had to fit inside a Dr. Pepper backpack. But I was leaving for Africa, and memories travel light. Again, a lot going on here, but no concrete idea of what is being pointed at. Who is mentall ill? Who has immunodeficiency issues? What were her stories, why are you leaving for Africa?
SEARCHING THE WAVES is relevant in a cultural climate that yearns for reminders of a simpler time. It will appeal to those interested in pivotal shifts in perspective. It blends the 80’s nostalgia and dysfunction of Amanda Uhle’s Destroy This House with the evocative, child’s hope of Javier Zamora’s Solito and the naturalism and isolation of Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult, by Michelle Dowd Really good comp titles here, but I don't have any idea what the actual crux of this story is. What's the journey for the memoirist? What is learned? How do they change? I can't even tell from what you have here if this is saying the commune childhood was good or bad.
I have led and spoken at child advocacy events. As a foster mom, I understand how a trauma-informed brain filters the present through past experience, and that humor really can heal. I’ve written for the National Park Service as a naturalist and published newsletters for The Mommy’s Network. Really great bio! You have a lot here that shows that you know what you're talking about, but the trauma angle isn't completely clear in the query itself, and if this has strong elements of humor, they need to be in the query as well. Right now it all just feels quite heavy.