The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

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If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

Thank you for the opportunity to submit my query for ANA, a character-driven young adult realistic contemporary about finding self-worth and family, of first love, and of friendships, broken and then rebuilt. ANA is complete at 75,000 words, and is in the vein of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Wintergirls, and Netflix’s To the Bone. So far, so good. This is very professional and tight and it could earn you the eyes to move on to the next para. But, at the same time, it's a little generic. Lift this description and ask yourself how many other YA's this could describe.

At eighteen, Kristen Hall has an imagery imaginary? friend—Ana, the personification of her eating disorder; that negative voice inside her head that tells her she isn’t good enough. Oh my goodness, this is your hook. I can't name a single other book that this describes. Put this para first. Your comp titles and everything above are a great "in sum" para. This is your hook, put it first. Ana is everything that Kristen loathes How? Of course she loathes her if she's constantly deriding her, but by saying Ana is everything she loathes, how do you mean? Her personality? Her attribures? What are those? —but three years after her parents divorce, moving to Sedona, Arizona, from Phoenix to live with her sister, her dad remarrying, and her mother’s abandonment, she is the only one who understands, especially when she, begrudgingly, agrees to meet with her mother, to try and reconcile. Wow, okay things just got confusing - and long winded. Try something more like "after a string of major life changes like..." and don't bother mentioning them all. The point is, Kristen feels isolated enough that her only "friend" is the personification of her eating disorder. That's all we need to know. Details get sticky. Rationally, Kristen knows that Ana isn’t good for her, but the thought of letting her go is unimaginable.

Kristen thinks that she can fly under the radar Whose radar? What radar? School? until she goes to college in the fall, but her budding relationship with Alex Taylor—thoughtful, selfless, and charming—threatens her connection with Ana. In Alex, Kristen sees everything that she could be—selfless, repeated word independent, and more in control of the chaos surrounding her—and she knows that to keep one, she has to lose the other. I think this is good, but it also makes me kind of go - well, duh. Obviously, it's going to be way better for her both mentally and emotionally to lose the personification of her eating disorder. Maybe just a touch more of why she's so dependent on Ana. Right now it reads like Ana is her Tyler Durden. We need a little more of a nod as to why losing her would actually be painful, rather than just a relief. Does Ana have any better moments? Good qualities?

I began writing this novel as a Dietetics student, and recently completed it after earning a degree in Journalism / Public Relations. I believe that my time studying nutrition, as well as having overcome my own struggles with body image, makes me the right person to tell these characters’ stories.

Great bio para here. Again, I suggest getting your 2nd para to the top, adjusting the current first para to serve as a summary, and then round off with your bio. Overall, this looks pretty good!

16 Bedtime Stories to Inspire Young Girls

For those who struggle to get to sleep at night, there’s nothing like a good story. Relaxing with your favorite book is a great way to unwind and slip off to sleep. The same is true for kids just as much as adults. That’s why for all lovers of books, we probably have at least one fond memory of being read to before bedtime. Because the books we read as children play such an important part in shaping our worldview, it’s important that children’s books contain positive lessons and morals.

This often means stories of kindness, bravery, and acceptance. While these are all necessary, there’s a story that is less frequently told, but is no less important. That is the story of the strong, independent woman. Girls are often read stories of princesses and damsels, but not scientists and mathematicians. They're told the importance of understanding and kindness, but not smarts and guts.

Thankfully there are authors who are making an effort to write empowering and diverse female characters into their children’s books. Sleep Advisor compiled a great list of inspiring books for young girls. There’s books on historical figures to show that women can and do make a difference. There’s also books on learning to celebrate yours and others individual differences. And, there’s even a few powerful princesses on their list.

Check it out below to find the perfect bedtime story for the young girl in your life

NJ Simmonds on Marketing Yourself

Today's guest for the SAT (Successful Author Talk) is NJ Simmonds, writer of YA fantasy, romance, and historical stuff that she totally makes up. A tiresome feminist killjoy, she's really bad at sitting still or keeping quiet. Her first book, The Path Keeper, releases today!

Are you a Planner or Pantser?

I’m a Planner Plus – because I’m also a dreamer. I spend months and months thinking about my stories before putting fingers to keyboard, imagining them like a movie in my head. It’s not until I’ve ironed out every little detail and plot-hole that I plan it chapter by chapter, and then write. It means that I don’t have that dreaded messy first draft so many people battle through, filling in gaps and spotting plot issues.

How long does it typically take you to write a novel, start to finish?

A lot less time now that I’m on a deadline for books two and three. My first book, The Path Keeper, took three years, but back then it was a hobby and I re-wrote it dozens of times. Book two took about nine months to final draft and the last in the series will have taken me about five months. Less I hope. I’m nearly at the end of the first draft. I did take just three months to write a YA contemporary once, but so far no publisher wants it – so maybe I should have taken more time with that one haha.

Do you work on one project at a time, or are you a multi-tasker?

I’m a multi, multi, multi tasker. I am currently planning the launch of book 1, editing book 2, writing book 3, planning my next series, subbing my standalone novel, I have five half-baked book ideas in note form – oh, and a job and two kids! This may explain my tense shoulders and insomnia.

Did you have to overcome any fears that first time you sat down to write?

No. Mainly because I was doing it for cathartic reasons. I had absolutely no expectations of anyone reading it or of taking it all the way to publishing. My two children were under three years of age when I started, and I was very exhausted, unhappy and unfulfilled. I started writing as a way to express myself and to escape, it became my savior.

How many trunked books (if any) did you have before you were agented?

None. But that’s because I knew nothing about the publishing industry or agents and someone I knew, who was a small-time agent, snapped up my first novel and offered to rep it. I was very nonchalant about it all and said ‘OK, let’s see if you get anyone interested in it, if not I’ll self-publish’. I had zero expectations. After a year of rejections, she folded her business anyway, so I was left unagented. At that point I should have started from scratch and got another agent – but instead one of the publishers showed interest, so I continued solo.

I always wonder whether, had I subbed to top agents from the start, whether my journey would have been different or if I would have trunked the first book after a few No’s.

Have you ever quit on an ms, and how did you know it was time?

Oh lots, but in my mind they are just little buds that have been put on ice. When the time is right, I’ll tend to them properly and watch them bloom. Most are only 5-10k words in - nothing major, just a few chapters. The only reason I stopped was because I had publisher deadlines with the series so had to focus on that, or because other ideas came along that were more exciting.

My unfinished books are all YA contemporary. I plan to focus on fantasy for a bit longer so may revisit them at a later stage. 

How did it feel the first time you saw your book for sale?

I’ve had a complicated route to publication, as The Path Keeper was first published by a small UK publisher who dropped YA after a few months – so I had to find the series a new home after being out just four months.

When the first edition hit the shops back in 2017, the entire experience was overwhelmingly surreal. I was in a London Waterstones, my book all over the shop, and a queue of people waiting to have it signed. I couldn’t believe it was my life – especially when it was beside other YA greats such as The Hate U Give and Caraval!

How much input do you have on cover art?

The first time around, with my first publisher, it was quite a lot. I filled in a form, hated their first attempt, and they basically did what I asked and I loved it. Now that I’m with a new publisher, and the book is hitting the USA and the rest of the world, I’m very very nervous. My background is in branding and marketing, so covers are so important to me – in fact a lot of the negotiations before I signed with my new publishers was about positioning, to ensure that they saw the future of the series the same way I did. They’ve been amazing, listening to my ideas, research and suggestions…so we’ll see. I’ll be seeing the cover soon. It should be beautiful, it has to be, we are definitely on the same page.

What's something you learned from the process that surprised you?

I’ve learned so much the hard way. Having been signed by an agent in 2015, then losing her, then signed to a publisher in 2016, published 2017, then leaving that publisher and not getting a new one for nine months (unagented) has been a really steep learning curve.

Even though my series is finally getting the attention it deserved first time around, I have definitely been subjected to all the highs and lows. My biggest lesson has been that authors are expected to do a huge amount of self-promotion, and you earn very very little to begin with. I wasn’t prepared for either. I was also shocked by the fact that it’s not that easy to get into a bookshop, so don’t think just because you’re signed that your book will be in the Barnes & Noble store window. It probably won’t be.

How much of your own marketing do you?  

A huge amount. Marketing is my day job, so I have a website, a blog (although it’s not as active as I’d like it to be), Twitter, Instagram, a Facebook page and a number of groups. I’m regularly guest appearing on book club groups and other people’s blogs too, plus when the first edition of The Path Keeper came out I managed all my own PR so organized TV, radio, press and events myself across four countries.

When do you build your platform? After an agent? Or should you be working before?

As I mentioned before, I knew nothing about writing and wasn’t even on Twitter when I began the book. Had I set out to be a published writer from the onset, and what I tell people, is start building your platform NOW. Start a Twitter account and blog and document your journey. People buy people. I can’t tell you how many books I have bought because I like the person on Twitter, and they finally got published. So do it pre-agent – you’d be surprised how many agents are on there watching too.

Do you think social media helps build your readership?

100%. But then I lecture on corporate storytelling and self-branding as part of my job – so I’d be crazy to say otherwise.

What social media ISN’T is a sales platform. It’s there to build your brand, connect and interact. It is not successful when all you do is sell yourself on there. No one likes that. Is there a correlation between sales and followers? No. But it IS great brand exposure/PR and it will encourage people to take you seriously, and remember you/give you a chance when they’re in a book shop.