The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

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If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

In a world where the names of the royals are given by the gods, Arden is the son of a beloved queen with a true name that makes him anything but. I don't think this is a great hook. We don't know what her true name is, or what the implications are. It's also a little convoluted as to what he's "anything but." A royal? A god? I can take a stab and say maybe he's a bastard, but that's after some untangling. I'd go with something more straightforward for your hook, personally.

Following their mother’s death, his brother ascends to the throne and plots to bring the empire under his control.But if he's ascended the throne, isn't it already under his control? Is there some danger to Arden? What is their relationship like? At his side is Isabella, whose family wields a dark power the likes of which Colwraetia has never seen. After a disastrous attempt to help the children conscripted to the king’s army, a servant secrets Arden away to a village with a powerful secret of its own.You've got an echo here with "secret" (word repitition). Also - who made this attempt for the children - the servant, or Arden? It's not clear. There, he befriends a boy with dreams of revolution and a deep mistrust toward the royal family. When an attack destroys the town, he Which he? Arden or the boy? is forced on the run alongside his former friend,They're not friends now? who seems to hate him as much as Arden is drawn to his fire. Hates him because... he's royal? Was that hidden from him at first? How was it revealed to cause the change?

Yet the sanctuary he hoped to find in the east turns out to be a cesspool of scheming while an aging emperor sits upon the throne. As his brother closes in, Arden has to choose between fleeing and losing the city he has grown to love or taking a stand that would risk the lives of the children he swore to protect. A decision that could seal his fate toward the darkness the gods promised. The gods are in the first and last line, but odn't appear to have much real role in the plot. Also - why does he want to help the children so badly? What is at risk for them? If he fights for this new city he's going to war against the conscripted children... right? Again, this needs a lot of clarificaiton. You don't want an agent to have to pick through this and try to put things together. They've got hundreds of queries to get through, and some of them will me more straightforward.

Dewdrop Prince is a YA fantasy complete at 97,000 words. It will appeal to fans of Prince of Thorns and Forest of a Thousand Lanterns.

I am a student and freelance writer from Texas who has a love-hate relationship with her cowboy boots. My works have been recognized by the Geek Partnership Society and the Poetry Matters Project. I look forward to hearing from you.

Good comp titles! Good bio! I think the story here has a good resonance to it, you just need to make the plot points more clear. It's difficult when writing a query because as the author, everything is already obvious to you - so it seems that way on paper. But to fresh eyes, we're just confused and trying to mine the meaning.

Debut Author Greta Kelly On Having Input For Cover Art

 I love talking to authors. Our experiences are so similar, yet so very different, that every one of us has a new story to share. Everyone says that the moment you get your cover it really hits you – you’re an author. The cover is your story – and you – packaged for the world. So the process of the cover reveal can be slightly panic inducing. Does it fit your story? Is it what you hoped? Will it sell? With this in mind I put together the CRAP (Cover Reveal Anxiety Phase) Interview.

Today’s guest for the CRAP is Greta Kelly, author of The Frozen Crown, available at stores like Books A Million. Greta Kelly is (probably) not a witch, death or otherwise, but she can still be summoned with offerings of too-beautiful-to-use journals and Butterfingers candy. She currently lives in Wisconsin with her husband EJ, daughter Lorelei and a cat who may, or may not, control the weather.

Did you have any pre-conceived notions about what you wanted your cover to look like?

I really didn’t have a notion about what I wanted my book cover to look like. But I knew what I didn’t want. We’ve all seen those fantasy covers. You know the ones I’m talking about. A generic-looking forest filled with men and women whose gravity-defying bodies are clad in inexplicable quantities of lycra for the faux-medieval setting. Now don’t get me wrong, many of these books contain amazing stories… but their covers haven’t exactly aged well. Thankfully, the cover for The Frozen Crown is beautiful. I could not be happier!

How far in advance from your pub date did you start talking covers with your house?

When I signed with my publisher, my editor told me to create a Pinterest page devoted to book covers that I liked. (Truly, the best homework assignment I’ve ever had.) About eight months before my pub-date, my editor asked for some ideas about covers and examples of cover-art that I liked. It was a little unique for me because my book is the first in a duology—and both books are being released in 2021. It meant that we had to think about what artistic themes and palettes we might be able to carry over to both books. Then about six months out, I started seeing cover ideas.

How was your cover revealed to you? 

The same way all wonderful news comes in these days—with a delightful ping in my inbox, lol. We’d gone through several iterations of my cover when we finally settled on what it is now.

Was there an official "cover reveal" date for your art?

There were actually a couple different reveals for my book. Because my publisher was bringing copies of The Frozen Crown to San Diego Comic Con, there was an earlier edition of the cover which was revealed as a part of a giveaway they planned. I like to think of this as a limited edition cover.  

A few weeks later, the cover was finalized. When my publisher was ready to reveal the official cover, they organized a press release with a sneak-peek of the first chapter of The Frozen Crown.

How far in advance of the reveal date were you aware of what your cover would look like?

Hardly any time at all! I saw the final cover and then two or three days later, the official cover-reveal press release went out. That’s the thing about publishing that no one really understand until they go through it. There’s all this waiting and waiting and waiting and then everything happens all at once, haha.  

Was it hard to keep it to yourself before the official release? 

It wasn’t too hard for me because there wasn’t that long of a wait. I think that if I had had to sit on the final cover for a long time, it would have been much harder to keep a lid on it.  

What surprised you most about the process?

I was really surprised that I had so much of a say in the cover process. I know that authors don’t always get any input in their covers, and I was very thankful to have as much input as I did.

Any advice to other debut authors about how to handle cover art anxiety?

Just take a breath and remember that you aren’t in it alone. It often feels like there is a huge power-imbalance in publishing—to the point where you can’t speak up if you dislike something. This is not true!

Everyone at the publisher wants your book to be successful—they aren’t going to saddle you with something that they know won’t sell.  

And also remember that you have your agent in your corner. If you really hate the cover the publisher likes, talk to your agent. They are being paid to have uncomfortable conversations for you, so there might be something they can do to intercede on your behalf without alienating you from your publisher.

Debut Novelist Mads Molnar III on Finishing Untold Stories and Traveling to Write

by Mads Molnar III

A Brooklyn Wine Class and the Unfinished Story

I’d been thinking about this idea ever since a wine class in Brooklyn 7 years before. As we sniffed and snorted our glasses, the vintner leading the class paused his wine pitch to tell us a story from the French countryside in 1940. 

In May, the Nazis raged across the border of Germany through Alsace and did a little more looting than was seen later in the war. One French winemaker, upon getting word they’d raid his cellar next, poisoned a case of his best wine.

We had all stopped drinking and swirling. The vintner had our attention. Then he added, “No one knows what happened to the wine.” The class released a collective sigh before we poured the next glass. 

Traveling to the Scene of the Crime 

The story lodged in my subconscious, and reminded me of my grandfather’s biographical WWII tales. I mulled both over for years, until I found myself on a biodynamic vineyard in a little town called Katzenthal, working for a winemaker named Clément Klur.

We took in a harvest of grapes: gewurztraminer, pinot noir, pinot grigio and riesling. I stomped some with my bare feet freezing numb in the cold of the fall and pressed others in Klur’s large bladder press. My wife cooked giant family-style lunches for the workers and we finally, after weeks of work, rode through the little town on the harvest tractor wearing garlands of grape vines and singing in the end of harvest—La Fête des Vendanges. We got to taste the juice from the grapes that we’d harvested. And as I helped with the fermentation and was alone in the cellar surrounded by bubbling barrels of juice turning hard, I remembered the story from the tasting and my grandfather’s life. Now surrounded by the same world of wine, standing in a cellar in that same region of the world, 80 years later, the story began to bubble up in my mind like the wine and I began to write. 

My grandfather inspired the psychologist-turned detective protagonist, the wine class vintner inspired the plot and Clément Klur and his gorgeous town of Katzental inspired the winery and winemaker in the book. 

The ferment was soon finished and my writing broke from the early morning hours into other parts of the day. 

My wife and I traveled through France, Switzerland and Italy for months from one vineyard to the next. We ended up in New Zealand via Australia before I typed “THE END” and attained closure on the story of the poisoned case of wine. 

Writing Prompts for Fiction Authors

As a writer, have you ever had a life event shove you out of inertia and into writing a story? Here are a few questions and writing prompts for you, related to travel and expanding on true stories:

• The next time you travel, collect details from that place. It just might serve you in your next story. Take note of the smells and sounds, the personality of the people and the place’s history. And most importantly, ask questions of all the local people. If you can become curious to learn the history it will be fleshed out in your mind and be more real to readers.

• Are there details about people you’ve met or know that could inspire rich characters? Think about speech patterns, mannerisms, dress, physicality, habits, motivations and even the things that make that person angry.

• Is there a story you’ve heard that’s always stuck with you? Maybe from a class or from someone in your family, like grandparents?

• Is there a compelling true story with an unknown ending that you could finish?

If you’re a fan of fast-paced adventure and hard-boiled detectives such as Philip Marlowe, you may enjoy reading my take on the destination of the bottles of poisoned wine. The historical thriller is a story of murder, love and revenge that one early reader called “a wild ride through Europe during WWII.” Watch the book trailer and grab a copy of Pinot Noir: A WWII Novel here: www.pinotnoirbook.com 

By afternoon, he's a journalist who's won numerous writing awards; by evening, he's an award-winning film director and by early morning he's a fiction writer under the name Mads Molnar III. Pinot Noir is his first novel.