Naomi D. Nakashima on Overcoming Self-Doubt: How to Conquer Imposter Syndrome and Write Your Book with Confidence

Have you ever felt like a fraud, even when you've achieved success? You ever look at those achievements and diminish them somehow?

Kind of like when someone tells you that you’re a good writer and you dismiss it because they’re your friend or your parent or your sibling or partner, so of course they have to tell you you’re good.

Imposter syndrome is an internalized feeling of inadequacy, despite external evidence of success. It's common among high-achievers and can affect writers in particular.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their skills, accomplishments, and talents and have an internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Those who experience imposter syndrome often attribute their successes to luck or external factors rather than their own abilities. Even in the face of  external evidence of their competence, they remain convinced they do not really deserve the recognition or accolades they receive.

For writers, this imposter syndrome often comes with a feeling that they don’t have “the right” to write the story they want to write.

Why it's important to overcome it in writing

As you can imagine, trying to write a story while at the same time feeling like you don’t have “the right” to tell that story can lead to a lot of complications. Add to that the fact that writing often entails a level of vulnerability, and any feelings of imposter syndrome can be exacerbated quickly if not addressed.

Writers often put themselves out there with their ideas and stories, facing criticism and the possibility of rejection. When we believe that we are imposters or that our success is undeserved, we become less likely to take risks and share our work with others. This can hold us back from achieving our goals as writers and hinder our creativity. In order to be successful as a writer, it's essential to learn how to recognize and overcome imposter thoughts so that we can write with confidence and authenticity.

Strategies for Recognizing and Challenging Imposter Thoughts

One way to recognize imposter thoughts is by paying attention to the language you use when talking about yourself and your writing. Do you often use negative self-talk or minimize your achievements?

If so, try challenging those thoughts with evidence that proves them wrong. For example, if you think "My writing isn't as good as other writers," look for positive feedback from readers or editors who enjoyed your work. And remember the phrase “facts over feelings.” Looking at this evidence that your writing is good won’t do you much good if you turn around and rely instead on your “feeling” that it wasn’t deserved for some reason. Instead of focusing on your feeling about the feedback, focus on the fact that you got the feedback.

Additionally, try surrounding yourself with supportive people who believe in your abilities as a writer. They can offer encouragement and constructive feedback that will help build confidence in your skills.

By recognizing these common imposter thoughts and developing strategies for overcoming them or even proving them to be wrong, you can break through your mental barriers and focus on your craft with clarity and confidence. 

Building Confidence as a Writer

Writing a book can be a daunting task, especially when you're plagued by self-doubt and imposter syndrome. So let’s work on some ways to build that confidence back up!

Celebrate your successes

When you’re feeling vulnerable and inadequate, it’s pretty easy to see all the mistakes—the low word count, the lack of writing time, the slow progress on your book. However, it's important to take time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

Did you finish a chapter? Did you receive positive feedback from a beta reader?

Celebrate these milestones and give yourself credit for the hard work that went into achieving them. Writing is tough, so it's crucial to acknowledge your accomplishments along the way.

Surround yourself with supportive people

Although writing can be a solitary activity, you don’t have to be totally alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can make all the difference in your writing journey.

Find other writers who understand what you're going through and can offer encouragement or advice when needed. Join writing groups or attend workshops where you can connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for storytelling.

Learn from hurdles and setbacks

One of the most valuable things you can do as a writer is to learn from your hurdles and setbacks. When something isn't working in your writing - whether it's a plot point that fell flat or dialogue that doesn't ring true - take some time to reflect on what went wrong.

Start by asking yourself some questions: What were my intentions with this scene/character/plot point? What did I hope to achieve? And why didn’t it achieve that? Once you've identified what went wrong, brainstorm some ways you could improve upon it next time.

Other hurdles might include distractions, things like phone calls or family members vying for your attention. 

It's also important not to beat yourself up over mistakes or failures. Remember that every successful writer has encountered plenty of obstacles along the way - it's all part of the journey!

Instead, approach each setback as an opportunity for growth and improvement. By learning from your mistakes and staying focused on your goals, you'll be well on your way to overcoming imposter syndrome and writing the book of your dreams.

Find Your Writing Voice

One of the biggest challenges writers face when dealing with imposter syndrome is feeling like they don't have a unique voice. This can cause them to doubt their abilities and struggle to find the motivation to write.

I’ve been saying for years: some of the best writing ever only comes when the writer is so deep inside their comfort zone that theirs is the only voice they can hear. Embracing your unique voice means being willing to take risks and write from the heart.

Unfortunately, a lot of new authors hate their writing because they’re waiting for it to sound like someone else wrote it—some more authorly writer. Don't try to mimic someone else's writing style or be something you're not just because you think it will make you more successful. Instead, focus on what makes your writing stand out and embrace that as your strength.

Final Thoughts

Imposter syndrome is a common experience that many writers face. It can hold you back from reaching your full potential as a writer, but it's important to recognize that it doesn't have to.

By understanding what imposter syndrome is, identifying your own imposter thoughts, and building confidence as a writer, you can overcome this hurdle and write the book you've always dreamed of. Remember to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

Naomi D. Nakashima is a bestselling author of nonfiction, a ghostwriter with 20 years experience, a trained psychotherapist, and a TikTok writing coach with thousands of followers who attend her coaching events and regular Q&As. Everything I Need to Know About Parenting I Learned from Watching Star Trek, her first book published under her name, became an international Amazon bestseller and stayed on the bestseller list for step-parenting and blended families for three years.

Setting Guardrails with Love

Some of the most poignant daily struggles that I have faced as a young writer-mother are the mornings. If I wanted to live my first-choice life, I needed to get ahead in my books in the first hours of the day, before anyone required my energy for anything else. If I woke before the light to do what nourished me, nothing could upset me. It gave me a full day’s immunity to negativity: a shield. By starting my day with writing, exercise, and solitude, I felt impermeable, calm, effective. I felt like my best self.

I would prepare: set my alarm, go to bed early, lay out my clothes—so I could out-wake my children, the earlier the better, and have a quiet two hours to myself to write. But they bested me daily, always in the most loving ways. I’d tiptoe, silent cup of tea in hand, at 5:30 a.m. to my desk—and the huge-diapered, pajama- footed baby would smell me and toddle over, big smile, ready to start the day. I started waking earlier: 5:15, 5. There felt something metallic and unkind about pushing back into the fours, but sometimes I did it anyway.

I thought of my ancestors—coal miners and ranchers—and how this was their morning time to push back into the hard, unforgiving rock or to tend to their hungry animals. Hoping this day would not swallow them. I am lucky, immeasurably lucky, to get to do work I choose (writing) in a place (home office) and time (early morning) of my choice. But I could not seem to get up early enough to do my work—my first-choice activity of what makes me feel whole and happy—before the day and its many demands took over. And as Joyce Carol Oates has observed, “The great enemy of writing is being interrupted by other people. Your worst enemy will have your most beloved face.”

Focusing on writing before spending the day focused on my household felt like the obvious, necessary guardrail—especially since my husband had a more regular daytime work schedule— but I had to stage some ways to make it work. None worked all the time, though each one worked sometimes; I jostled between them.

One was asking my husband to be on morning duty. He always said yes, but morning duty meant different things to us. I felt it necessary to acknowledge our children at the threshold of their waking and offer some form of love. My husband, on the other hand, felt it necessary to sleep past six, so this whole battle went on during his unconscious hours. If I sent the babies to him, they’d return like boomerangs to me.

The second was the most inspired. It was to set up their own desks in my office, complete with art supplies and snacks, and to try to initiate them to the truth that morning is an excellent time for projects, with its own gravitas and its own treats. We even tried using a timer for “work time.” This worked to delight the child and buy me a few minutes at intervals.

The third was to find a coffee shop that opened at 6:00 a.m. This worked every time!

So I bandied among these three, always wrapping by 8:00 a.m. so I could lavish attention on my children for a few minutes before school (my husband took them to school, I picked them up).

And then, to my amazement, the seasons changed and my daughter was no longer my early morning companion—she had learned to sleep past seven—but my son still was. And then suddenly both were sleeping heavy, long nights and no longer desiring to wake early and hang with me. Which, in the dizzy way I remember all things about early parenthood, I found myself missing.

But I have a souvenir from those seven years of trying and failing daily to out-wake my household: I still wake early and write most days before doing anything else. This guardrail enables me to live a full life during the daytime hours—showing up for my kids’ school events, collaborating with other artists, teaching a full course load of writing workshops, seeing friends, going for hikes and spontaneous dates with my husband, and tending to the day as it unfolds.

This souvenir ties me forward to my babies—my catalyst for becoming an early morning writer—and backward to my ancestors, who woke early for their own reasons of survival. I still try to write ahead in my book before anyone speaks my name.

And what is left of our work—if we are lucky, and I mean really lucky—is ourselves.

Elisabeth Sharp McKetta teaches writing for Harvard Extension School and Oxford Department for Continuing Education. She is the author of ten books, including the novel She Never Told Me About the Ocean. Her shorter works have been published widely. She delivered the 2019 TEDx talk “Live Like a Poem.” Elisabeth lives with her husband and two young children.