Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.
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My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.
I am writing to you seeking representation for “DARLING, HOW TO KILL YOUR WORDS”, a new adult thriller with heavy sapphic romance and alternate historical elements. Complete at 80,000 words, it is a standalone with trilogy potential. Picture if CARMEN SANDIEGO started killing historical villains in a cat-and-cat game a la KILLING EVE, with a dash of the true enemies-to-lovers slow burn found in THE MIDNIGHT GIRLS. Good intro, shows you know your genre, and comp titles / market
Everything you know about historical despots who committed suicide is wrong.
You think Adolf Hitler committed suicide with the impending demise of his empire? Nah. That was Alma Marinette. And then she hooked up with Eva Braun afterwards. And... then killed her, too? It raises the question. You think Judas Iscariot Judas doesn't necessarily fit the descriptor of being a despot, which makes me wonder if the word in the hook should be altered committed suicide after betraying the Savior? Nope on a rope. Also Alma Marinette. Granted, she didn’t screw his wife. No one knows who Alma is, or where she came from. She could be Mary Magdalene, she could be Mary of Scots. Personally, I love the voice here. But it's very strong so make sure that it fits the voice of the manuscript as well. An agent who reads this and likes it is going to be looking for the same zing in the manuscript.
Her new mission? Kill Sappho. Yes, the poet, who is now hiding out in 1920s Paris for reasons unknown. There’s, of course, the obvious fact Not sure what this line is referring to, really. The second line doesn't really have anything to do with the first one, that she’s not like… horrible. So... Sappho can also time travel? Or, can everyone in this world?
But it’s a mission. And a soldier gets a mission done. Alma is determined to get her reward. Only other issue? This feels like it's referencing the "she's not horrible" line, but that line is presented as an issue. It's just kind of hanging there. Sappho isn’t stupid. She knows Alma is after her.
What follows is a series of meeting eyes over reading books in cafes, passing notes reading “Die”, sniping from rooftops with unusable guns, and a whole lot of snark. And Alma can’t just help but think that it wasn’t Sappho, but someone else she was intended to kill…
What you have here is good in terms of voice, but there isn't much telling the reader what the plot is. I need to know what the MC wants, what stands in the way of them getting it, what they're willing to do to overcome the obstacles, and what's at stake if they don't. Right now this isn't doing any of those things. The character is there, and the concept is fun, but the plot is not present at all.