The Saturday Slash

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Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

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Eighteen-year-old Maki Hosoya didn't enter her first year of college expecting to be a friend-for-hire. Unlike her rich peers, however, she knows that getting the money for her tuition isn't as easy as calling up mommy and daddy and asking for their credit card verification value. My immediate reaction to this is that you're writing a YA, but it's set in college. That's tricky territory, and something that's apt to turn off an agent from the beginning. If there's a chance of setting this in an elite boarding school, or something similar, that's your better bet. Don't hobble yourself right out of the gate by pushing a YA with a freshman in colleg as your protag. As far as the pitch itself, your opening hook is good.

Not that she's jealous or anything.

Besides, even if she were, she knows that she should be counting her blessings. Her classmates may be party-obsessed and unacquainted with the real world, but they hand out money like it's candy. If they need a responsible “friend” for when their parents visit, a fake girlfriend to make an ex jealous, or a sober sitter, Maki is there. There are just two rules: Pay up, and don’t get too attached. Whose rules are these? Maki's? Or her clients? Pay up seems like a rule for a client, whereas don't get too attached could go either way.

Unfortunately, repeat client Elise Haines doesn't seem to have gotten the memo. Which part of the memo? Again, knowing whose rules these are will help. She invites Maki to parties and asks her to hang out, and before Maki knows what's happening, Elise has convinced her to join the Japanese Club, actually talk to her roommate, and start working as a rave mom. Everything before rave mom sounds social, but rave mom sounds like something that fits her job description, so the waters are muddied a bit here.

But Maki knows that she isn't here to make friends; she's here to make money. Even if it means taking on as many requests as possible to keep herself busy and pushing away everyone else. She doesn't need anyone, least of all a girl who seems hellbent on befriending her. She's just fine on her own. Just fine. I think it might be more beneficial to get Maki's personality in there sooner. This para is good where it is, but the opening makes it sound like we should have pity for Maki, yet she's entirely mercenary about this... or at least, that's the goal. Maybe one sentence earlier to clarify where Maki stands.

BY REQUEST's connection to Asian culture will appeal to fans of Emily X.R. Pan's THE ASTONISHING COLOR OF AFTER, and its disconnected and often socially clueless narrator may remind readers of Colin from John Green's AN ABUNDANCE OF KATHERINES. Complete at 83,000 words, this contemporary YA novel weaves together Japanese and party culture, the struggles that come with the first semester of college, and the fear of forming attachments—or more accurately, the fear of breaking them.

Again, this is a great wrap-up down here at the bottom, but I feel like you might be giving us some mixed signals far as Maki's personality. Disonnected? Yes, that fits with what you've given us so far. Socially clueless? Eh... if she's getting paid to pretend to be a girlfriend, the "good girl" friend, or other social step-ins, then she can't be socially clueless. It would make her bad at her job - which she clearly isn't. Overall, what you have here is good, but setting it in a college could kill it.

Eric Devine On Choosing Your Route in Publishing

It’s time for a new interview series… like NOW. No really, actually it’s called NOW (Newly Omniscient Authors). This blog has been publishing since 2011, and some of the earlier posts feel too… dated. To honor the relaunch of the site, I thought I’d invite some of my past guests to read and ruminate on their answers to questions from oh-so-long-ago to see what’s changed between then and now.

Today’s guest for the NOW is Eric Devine, Young Adult fiction author of Look Past, Press Play, Dare Me, Tap Out, and This Side of Normal.

Has how you think (and talk) about writing and publishing changed, further into your career?

Absolutely. Early in my career (Tap Out was published in 2012) everything was new and the opportunities felt limitless. Whenever I talked about writing or publishing—at school visits, conferences, etc.—I harped on the traditional route, putting in the time, and writing your best work, while having faith that such a path would get you into, and keep you in, the industry. I don’t talk like that anymore. The industry has changed, and I fear telling people that the traditional route to publication is the best way to go. It’s why I’m going hybrid and self-publishing a novel in April. Authors have to seize the opportunities that feel right for them, regardless of whether they fit the mold for what we’ve held as truth in publishing.

Let’s about the balance between the creative versus the business side of the industry. Do you think of yourself as an artiste or are you analyzing every aspect of your story for marketability? Has that changed from your early perspective?

I have always had an eye toward the market, and I think every author should. As a former agent of mine said, “Publishing is at the corner of art and commerce.” It’s a fabulous way to frame what we do—create art for consumption. I have never thought of myself as an artiste. My stories do tackle tough issues, but there is always an engaging, and typically fast-paced plot driving those moments. I have been an English teacher for close to 20 years, so I work with teens every day. When I’m writing, I ask of my stories: Is this about their lives? Would they find this worth reading? If the answers are yes, then it’s a go.

The bloom is off the rose… what’s faded for you, this far out from debut?

I think many authors hope for stunning sales and a call from Hollywood or Netflix, which was certainly true for me. But the reality is that for the majority of us, having our book published is the apex. I’ve come to understand that’s quite all right, actually. I realize now that if I’m able to write something that a teen or adult willingly engages with because they find it compelling, that’s awesome. Awesome is an excellent outcome.

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Likewise, is there anything you’ve grown to love (or at least accept) that you never thought you would?

The awe everyday people still feel about authors. Growing up I know I felt this way about the authors I enjoyed, but I never met any of them. Then I became an author and was provided a backstage look at the process. As a group, authors are pretty ordinary. Yet, when people learn that I’m an author they are always intrigued. People who have read and enjoyed my work always want to talk about it. Our cultural idea of authors and their stories still has sway, which I find so refreshing and motivating.

And lastly, what did getting published mean for you and how has it changed (or not changed!) your life?

Getting published allowed me to meet some wonderful authors and connect with readers in a way I never imagined possible. I’ve had some fabulous moments that I cherish and often share with colleagues and other people who love books. But there’s an enormous world out there who does not know who I am, nor even care about what I do. I’m still the same husband and father I’ve been, so I can not say my life has been fundamentally changed, but it has been enhanced by what I’ve been allowed to do.