The Saturday Slash

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My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

In UNTIL DEATH DO US SEW, Corpse Bride meets a sapphic Hades and Persephone when a reclusive seamstress who sews emotion into wedding gowns is pulled into the realm of Death itself. I mean, I'm in!

Inessa has spent ten years hidden inside her atelier I admit to having to Google this word. Others may have to as well, concealing a dangerous gift. Every dress she sews carries raw emotion, powerful enough to destroy whoever wears it. Desperate for a life where her existence cannot harm anyone, her self-imposed isolation is shattered when a mysterious client commissions a gown using the wrong measurements. Can't she just pass on the request? Later on, the grieving groom collects the garment at midnight and the cursed dress opens a passage straight to the Underworld. Okay, so I'm still definitely in. But I guess my big question is why doesn't she just not do that for a living then?

There, Inessa meets Morrigan, the immortal shadow entity ruling the dead. Instead of fearing Inessa's curse, Morrigan offers her a purpose as the tailor of souls, restoring the dead’s identities through shadow and thread. But as Inessa falls for her host, she discovers a terrifying truth. She is the fifteenth seamstress Morrigan has lured there, and the previous fourteen were consumed once their magic ran dry.By who / what? Yet the cycle has fractured. For the first time in four centuries, Morrigan cannot bring herself to destroy her captive, proving that the tenderness growing between them is not part of the trap. Awkward phrasing here, I'd put this more like Morrigan feels tenderness growing in spite of knowing the eventual outcome

Inessa can flee and return to a life of isolation and a gift she cannot control. Well I mean, once again, why doesn't she just do data processing or something like that? Or she can finish the coat she has begun sewing for Morrigan, threading four centuries of grief, guilt, and buried love into every seam, forcing Morrigan to feel everything she has spent centuries suppressing. Magic demands a price. To finish it, Inessa must pour the last of her gift into the stitches. The cost, whatsoever, will be her hands, and with them, the only craft that has ever given her life meaning. So this is over all super great. But there's that big question of - why not just do something else then? I'm also curious why she's sewing a coat for Morrigan and why that coat would have a different outcome than the dresses she's made in the real world.

UNTIL DEATH DO US SEW is a 99,000 words adult gothic fantasy romance. It is Mexican Gothic meets A Dowry of Blood with the atmospheric dread of Belladonna, featuring high-fashion necromancy, slow-burn emotional manipulation, and a monster who forgets how to be cruel. I am a Brazilian biomedical scientist currently based in Italy. When I am not writing gothic romance about entities with terrible emotional regulation, I am studying biotechnology and explaining to my professors why the human body is just a dark fantasy with extra steps. UNTIL DEATH DO US SEW is my English-language debut. Awesome bio, well done. Your word count might be a little high for a debut, so I'd consider attempting to whittle it down, if possible. However, the premise is so interesting that I wouldn't be surprised if you get partial or full requests even with a high word count. Like I said, the biggest thing here for me is the question of motivation - why doesn't she just do something else for a living? Or refuse wedding dress orders, if she knows whoever wears it will die?