The House of Writing Metaphors - The Staircase of Fate

Welcome to my HoWM - that's Mindy's House of Writing Metaphors. This week I'm going to share with you more of my rambling old farmhouse, and how it provides me with writing metaphors on a daily basis, in just about every room. We're starting off today with a repost of a story about me cracking my head open.

Yes, technically this first Mindy''s HoWM post is completely lacking in metaphors, but it is a great example of how amusing a concussion can be. Check in all this week for real metaphors, and a picture of my potty!

It's time for another, extra-special glimpse into MindyLand - a fascinating place in which the reliable narrator appears to be protected by a higher power, cause really, I shoulda died.

And I promise, it ties into writing. Eventually. Bear with me.

I live in a big old, rambling farmhouse, with a big old takes-forever-to-climb, built-at-an-alarming-angle staircase.  I love my big old house, and the staircase was a serious motivating factor when I bought the house. Then it tried to kill me this past winter.

*Pause for world-building info dump*

My bedroom is on the second floor; a bathroom in the process of renovation is conveniently, right next door.  If one were (and, one often does) to walk out of the bathroom, you take a hard left to get to the bedroom.  Then there's a Misleading Bit O'Wall (reason for being thus dubbed to follow) and, immediately following, also on the left, the Staircase of Fate.  Said stairs are made out of real dead trees, not pressed and hardened cardboard.  And there used to be carpet on them.  I took it off.  Very.  Very. Smart.

So late one night - technically, it was very early, cause I'm a stay-upper like that - last December I found myself in need of the potty.  I make that trip, and flip off the light in the bathroom as I exit - cause who needs the lights on to make a hard left turn into their own bedroom? But it's late, and I'm tired, so when I put my hand out and feel the Misleading Bit O'Wall ending, I think oh good - bedroom - and commenced to step out into nothingness.  I was already leaning forward a bit, reaching for the light switch inside the bedroom, so I don't do one of those slippity, land on your butt things.  I fell completely forward and went end over end so that the very first thing that HIT was literally the crown of my head.  On a step.  A hard one.  With no carpet.  I heard the *CRUNCH* inside my head as my neck impacted.

Thought process went like this, as I stepped into nothingness, surrounded by pitch blackness:

1) Where the hell did my bedroom floor go?

2) *CRUNCH* Oh shit, I'm falling down the stairs, and I think my neck just got shorter.

3) Wow, this is really taking a long time to get to the bottom

4) *still falling down the stairs* Do these stairs end?  It would be really terrifying if I just kept falling.

5) *MEATY SMACK as I hits the bottom* (cause she never really slowed down) Oh good, I'm done falling, the perpetual stairs theory is false.

6) Ouch

7) I appear to be alright

8) *attempts to stand, immediate vomit reaction, curls into fetal position* Should I call the squad?  I can either crawl the length of the house to the security panel and do that, or crawl back up the stairs to my cell phone.

9) Well, I'm butt ass naked so I don't think I will go for option one.  (Inside track - BBC sleeps in the nude. Yeah, cause that's how I roll - and let me tell you, the bruises were interesting).

So I crawl back up the stairs, to call my Mommy and Daddy - cause that's also how I roll.  And an interesting conversation follows:

Mindy: (after a few dials cause it's like, 3 AM) Hi Mom - first of all, I think I'm OK, but I fell down my stairs and I want you to come and make sure I don't fall asleep and not wake up, or vomit and choke on it and die in my sleep.

MOM: (long sigh) How did you manage to do that?

Mindy: Does it matter?  I just DID!

MOM: Hold on.

*I overhear MOM waking up DAD*

MOM: Here - keep your daughter talking on the phone while I drive over there to make sure she's OK.

DAD: What happened?

MOM:  She fell down the stairs.

DAD: How did she manage to do that?

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, shortly after the Staircase of Fate escapade, I began analyzing the thought process I had while in the act of getting shorter.  When something alarming, sudden, and traumatizing happens to our characters, we tend to make them aware of what's going on.  But the truth is, when something like that occurs in real life, we are so disoriented we have no CLUE what is happening - hence my wondering why my bedroom floor had evaporated.

I'll leave you with a related conversation, that has no bearing on writing.  A week after my Fateful Fall Forward I was still dizzy at random moments, and slightly sluggish.  So I thought - Hey!  Maybe I should go to the Dr!  *dials phone*

Mindy: Yeah I need to get an appt.

Receptionist: And what do we need to see you for today?

Mindy: I fell down my stairs and I think I have a concussion.

Recept: Ma'am? Would you like us to call the squad for you?

Mindy: Oh no, this was like a week ago.

Recept: (long pause) What are your symptoms?

Mindy: I'm dizzy and nauseous, plus I want to sleep a lot.

Recept: For a week now?

Mindy: Yeah

Recept: OK - be here in the office in 15 minutes. I'm taking the liberty of scheduling you for an MRI as well, cause they're going to want to do that.

Mindy: Well, it'll have to be in half an hour, it'll take me that long to drive there.

Recept: You're driving yourself around?

Mindy: Uh... nooooo, no, of course not.

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately:

1) Aren't our bodies amazing? When we crave something it's not because we have promiscuous taste buds. Our bodies are telling us we are missing something we need. How does that work? How does my body know for example, that I need protein and so I crave peanut butter? Or I need potassium, so I want a banana? 

2) Plants are smart. They know when to start growing and when to store their food, to turn towards the sunlight and curl up their leaves to preserve water in the heat. So why do some plants grow so high they can't support themselves anymore, and fall over? Are these the dunce individuals in the plant world?

3) How did windmills work a long time ago? Today they make energy and electricity, but a long time ago I'm pretty sure they were used for moving water. How though? Most old farmsteads had one, and I kinda doubt people who had to spend every second scratching a living took the time to build a massive lawn ornament.

Interview With Elana Johnson & A Query That Worked

I'm lucky (or cunning) enough to have lured yet another successful writer over to my blog for an SAT - Successful Author Talk. SAT authors have conquered the query, slain the synopsis and attained the pinnacle of published. How'd they do it? Let's ask 'em!

Elana Johnson’s debut novel, POSSESSION, came out on June 7 from Simon Pulse (Simon & Schuster). Her popular ebook, From the Query to the Call, is also available for download. School teacher by day, Query Ninja by night, you can find her online at her personal blog or her website. She is a co-organizer of the popular online children's conference WriteOnCon, a founding author of the Query Tracker blog and a contributing author of the League of Extraordinary Writers.

Are you a Planner or Pantster?

Pantser, through and through. Though I like the term “discovery writer” over pantser. ☺

How long does it typically take you to write a novel, start to finish?

Less than 30 days for the first draft. Once I’m drafting, I’m DRAFTING, you know? It’s the revising/editing process that takes months.

Do you work on one project at a time, or are you a multi tasker?

One project at a time. In my younger writing days, I could write one project and edit another. Now, I focus on one thing at a time. I don’t have enough hours in the day to do more than that.

Did you have to overcome any fears that first time you sat down to write?

Are you kidding? Absolutely! I still have to overcome the I-Suck Monster every single time I sit down to write. I don’t think that ever goes away, and if it does, I need the secret!

How many trunked books (if any) did you have before you were agented?

Well, depends on what you mean by “trunked.” I had queried and shelved one novel. Possession was my third novel, but my second one was so bad, I didn’t even try to fix it and query. Same for #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9 and #10. I was finishing my 11th novel when I signed with my agent. By the way, novels #4-10 all stink.

Have you ever quit on an ms, and how did you know it was time?

Yes, see answer above. For my queried novel, I knew it wasn’t the one, but it was my first novel, and I managed to push that feeling away. I queried a lot of agents, and basically had no choice but to shelve it.
For the other novels (#4-10), some of them have potential, but would need to be completely rewritten from blank pages. Some of them are finished, but with huge holes and fatal flaws. I do have about 3 partially finished novels. As a discovery writers, sometimes you find yourself in a corner you can’t get out of…

Who is your agent and how did you get that "Yes!" out of them?

My agent is Michelle Andelman at Regal Literary, and I cold queried her with my query letter + ten pages. She requested the full, and things progressed from there. So I’m a slush pile success story!

How long did you query before landing your agent?

I queried my first book for 8 months. I queried Possession for 8 months. I sent 189 queries for POSSESSION, and over 50 partials/fulls.

Any advice to aspiring writers out there on conquering query hell?

Don your thick skin, find someone who can (hold your hand) cheer you on, and go for it.

How did that feel, the first time you saw your book for sale?

Amazing! Utterly amazing! I literally couldn’t stop smiling.

How much input do you have on cover art?

Not much, as is pretty typical. It’s a good thing I loved it!

What's something you learned from the process that surprised you?

Things happen much slower than I would like, but they DO happen! I mean, we all know publishing is notorious for being slow. But I never actually thought things would happen, and THEY DID. That was surprising.

How much of your own marketing do you?  

I’d like to think I do a lot of marketing. I have a blog, where I post five days a week. I also blog once a week for The League of Extraordinary Writers, a debut dystopian/science fiction blog. I also organize WriteOnCon, a free online writer’s conference, and I started out blogging for QueryTracker in late 2008. So I’ve been doing the whole platform-social-media thing for a while now. I tweet too, and I have a Facebook fanpage that I maintain.

When do you build your platform? After an agent? Or should you be working before?

I definitely think before. Like I said, I started with QT in late 2008, and I didn’t sign with my agent until November 2009, and my book didn’t come out until mid-2011. But no matter when you start, just start!

Do you think social media helps build your readership?

Definitely! You never know who’s going to retweet something you said, or blog about something you said, or whatever. And that goes out to their readership, and theirs, and theirs… So yeah. Cast your net wide, and don’t burn bridges.

Elana was kind enough to share her winning query for POSSESSION, below:

I used different versions. Sometimes shorter and sometimes longer. Sometimes I compared it to THE GIVER and sometimes to UGLIES. But here’s the one I sent to Ms. Andelman, who later offered representation:

I believe you would be interested in my young adult novel, POSSESSION.

In a world where Thinkers brainwash the population and Rules are not meant to be broken, fifteen-year-old Violet Schoenfeld does a hell of a job shattering them to pieces.

After committing her eighth crime (walking in the park after dark with a boy, gasp!), Vi is taken to the Green, a group of Thinkers who control the Goodgrounds. She’s found unrehabilitatable (yeah, she doesn’t think it’s a word either) and exiled to the Badlands—until she demonstrates her brainwashing abilities. That earns her a one-way trip to appear before the Association of Directors.

Yeah, right. Like that’s gonna happen. She busts out of prison with sexy Bad boy Jag Barque, who also has no intention of fulfilling his lame sentence.

Dodging Greenies and hovercopters, dealing with absent-father issues, and coming to terms with feelings for an ex-boyfriend—and Jag as a possible new one—leave Vi little time for much else. Which is too damn bad, because she’s more important than she realizes. When secrets about her “dead” sister and not-so-missing father hit the fan, Vi must make a choice: control or be controlled.

A dystopian novel for young adults, POSSESSION is complete at 75,000 words. Fans of Michael Grant’s GONE and Suzanne Collins’ THE HUNGER GAMES will enjoy similar elements, and a strong teen voice.

I am an elementary school teacher by day and a contributing author to the QueryTracker blog by night. If you would like to consider POSSESSION, I’d be happy to forward the complete manuscript to you. I have included the first ten pages of the manuscript in the body of this email.

Thank you for your time,

Elana Johnson