Can Writers Stop Calling Romance Novels “Porn”?

By Elizabeth Everett, Author of A Perfect Equation

Let’s start with two definitions.

Pornography: printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

Romance Novel: A work of literature which features a central love story with an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.

It seems obvious to me that these are two wildly different definitions. Why, then, do so many people use the word “porn” in conjunction with the romance genre? Even more distressing, why do other authors use it?

If this was the mid-seventies of the last century, it might make more sense. Pornographic movies had tenuous story lines and, specifically in the historical romance sub-genre, there were narratives that included non-consensual sex.

Times have changed a great deal, but stereotypes remain. Even a cursory examination of the impact of the pornographic industry on women and young people reveals multiple studies that leave no doubt of its negative impact on the lives of the people participating in as well as watching pornography.

In contrast, a slew of articles have been written in the past two years about how romance novels have been a balm for reader’s mental health during the pandemic and a spike in romance sales proves the point.

Genre fiction has always gotten the side eye from other writers, but the contempt for romance is particularly strong. I have a few theories as to why this might be.

The first is that in our American culture, we are still ambivalent about sex. On the one hand, we use sex to sell everything from sneakers to cereal. We hypersexualize young people in our media and everything from fashion to food is designed to appear “sexy.” On the other hand, when we talk about the actual sex act, we still use words like “dirty”, “smutty”, and “nasty.” Sex education in the classroom is still controversial and frank, open discussion about sexual health is still taboo. Adults, when they find out that I write romance, immediately begin to titter and make jokes about how my partner must enjoy that I write sex scenes. Men in genre fiction – especially thrillers and crime fiction – rarely get asked about if they get off on writing about sex killers or are titillated when they depict mutilated naked women as victims. Yet, romance authors report that it is quite common to receive inappropriate questions about their enjoyment of writing sex scenes from interviewers and other authors as well as from the general public.

The second theory is a bit more nuanced. The romance genre has made strides – although I think we can all agree not enough – by expanding representation in romance novels. Peruse any romance section and you’ll find Queer, disabled, and neurodiverse main characters, to name a few. While there is some prejudicial push-back on love stories for everyone, “porn” and even worse, “mommy porn”, is most often applied to books where women are depicted enjoying non-penetrative or consensual sex. We’ve internalized misogyny to the point where depictions of intimacy where women are active participants and achieve satisfaction are suspect and subject to ridicule. It’s no coincidence that in many thrillers and crime fiction novels if a woman is sexually active, she’s going to wind up dead at some point.

My deepest disappointment with this hypocrisy is when other authors participate in it. The point of including physical intimacy on the page in a romance novel is obvious. It is a powerful way to illustrate the deepening emotional connection between the two main characters. While you can always separate love from sex, sex with love is a compelling narrative that has driven many a classic novel – but oftentimes praise is saved for those novels where the woman is punished, or the relationship ends in tragedy.

The next time an author is tempted to dismiss romance novels as trash or “porn” – I urge them to pause and do one of two things. First, read a romance. It’s not that hard, there are lots of them out there to appeal to any age, race, gender, religion, or sexuality. Second, these are your peers. Take a moment and consider the comparison you are making between a piece of pornography and a three-hundred-page novel that charts the course of a relationship and brings devoted readers the profound emotional satisfaction that is this genre’s special gift.

Elizabeth Everett lives in upstate New York with her family. She likes going for long walks or (very) short runs to nearby sites that figure prominently in the history of civil rights and women's suffrage. Her series is inspired by her admiration for rule breakers and belief in the power of love to change the world.

Out of the Chaos ~ Finding Your Way to the Heart of Your Story

By Elly Swartz

One great story with a dash of life lessons and a heaping portion of heart. That may be a winning recipe, but getting there can feel less like a straight path from the cookbook to the platter and more like kitchen chaos.

So how do you find your way from chaos to blue-ribbon?

Here are a few tips that have worked for me.

But first, a little backstory. My journey to publication took 15 years! And the first book I published, FINDING PERFECT, was the 5th book I wrote! The other 4 are now known in my house as practice.

So, after 15 years of rejection, and now 5 books in or soon-to-be in the world, I’m familiar with finding my way through the chaos.

WRITE WHAT MATTERS TO YOU

When it comes to middle grade readers, there is no more honest bunch. So, be sure to write from that place of true authenticity. Don’t preach. Don’t judge. Write what matters most to you. Because if you write a story that tugs at your heart, then you’re writing from that place of truth. And that’s where your readers live.

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR 12-YEAR-OLD SELF

Forget the shoulds and worries of your adult life and wrap yourself around your younger self. Be that kid again. Write as if you ARE your main character. I always know that I’m truly in it when my story weaves itself into every fiber of my being and every moment of my day. Like when I was writing DEAR STUDENT and the main character, Autumn, flooded my dreams. You see, I wasn’t dreaming about Autumn, I was dreaming as if I was Autumn. My world and hers had become completely enmeshed.

Sometimes going back to your 12-year-old self is hard.

But when you’re willing to truly go there, it can also be truly magical.

EMBRACE THE SWISS CHEESE

I have lovingly named my first drafts, Swiss Cheese—they have lots of holes and they stink! After 20 years of writing, I’ve finally accepted that all of my first drafts are a hot mess. And, that’s okay.

This recognition gives me permission to just write. Without expectation. Without consequence. It’s freeing. And with that freedom comes the brain space to create.

It also gives me a place to start. A place to work from.

And we can’t create the blue-ribbon dish, without the recipe. So give Swiss Cheese a try!

EMOJIS

Every great story needs a character that feels all the feels. All happy, you’ve written a giant Hallmark card. All sad, well, no one really wants that.

But how to do you get there?

Emojis. I use them. And I promise, I’m not kidding.

After I write my Swiss Cheese draft, I put an emoji at the top and bottom of each chapter. What’s the emotion coming into the scene and what’s the emotion coming out. This way, I can visually cue myself when I need to mix things up.

Emojis keep me in check and allow me to create a story with true emotional resonance.

JUST BE YOU

Don’t compare your writing to anyone else’s. There is nothing that kills creativity faster than competition. There is room for ALL the books on the shelves. So just be you. Authentically. Wonderfully you.

Write the story you want to read. And write it in a style and voice that is uniquely yours.

Because in that space of true authenticity, lies the story of your heart.

GET RID OF THE GOAT

As shared, kids are wonderfully honest. So be sure to get rid of the goat.

Ha! What’s the goat, you ask? It’s the part of your story you want to work so badly. The part you love. But the part that’s just too good to be true.

It’s the goat in Times Square, for instance.

The part of your story that doesn’t really make sense. Like, why is a goat wondering around Times Square? And keeping it in will only cast doubt on your credibility with your readers. They trust you to be honest. They trust you to be real. Don’t break their trust. It’s a privilege.

Just get rid of the goat!

FINAL THOUGHTS

One reader asked why I continued to write during my 15 years of rejection. I had to think about that. Then I told him that I love writing more than I hate rejection. I also shared that rejection didn’t define me. And it doesn’t define you. Don’t ever give rejection that power.

You are a writer because you write.

And I believe in you!

Happy writing, friends!

Elly Swartz is the author of four contemporary middle grade novels. Her debut novel, FINDING PERFECT (FSG 2016) is about 12-year-old Molly, OCD, and a slam poetry competition that will determine everything. In her second book, SMART COOKIE (Scholastic, 2018), you meet the spunky and big-hearted Frankie who is all about family with a dash of mischief and mystery! Then in October, 2019, we said hello to Maggie in GIVE AND TAKE (FSG). With the help of a foster baby named Izzie, Maggie learns that sometimes love means letting go. And in the spring of 2022, we’ll get to know Autumn in DEAR STUDENT (Delacorte/Penguin Random House). Autumn is a girl with social anxiety and a pet guinea pig named Cheetos, who becomes the secret voice of the advice column in her middle school newspaper.

The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

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My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

I am sending you The Warriors of Bjornfell, a multi-POV High Fantasy YA novel with crossover potential. It is a standalone with series potential complete at 101,160 words. It will appeal to fans of Kendare Blake and Jenn Lyons. In general, I tell people to put this information at the bottom of the query. I look at it like this - every author querying has a title, a genre, a word count, and comp titles. Go in with a punch - use your hook. This info can go at the bottom. Also - you can just say it's 100k and round down. However, I would advise you to get that word down to 85-90k. Breaking out at 100k is difficult, and this genre is currently packed tight as it is.

Nathaja & Brynjar are two of three predestined warriors who are the first beings gifted by the gods in almost two centuries. This is a bit convoluted - I'm immediately wondering who the third is, and what it means to be gifted. Are they really good piano players, or what? Find something more distinctive to say, or else this starts off like every other Chosen One (or two) narrative They both must learn to control their powers in order to rescue their mothers from the clutches of Nathaja's brother Geir who has joined forces with Ragnifred, the immortal sorceress Queen. But... why? Right now this is just like - hey, we've got an emergency because there's a bad person! Which is pretty generic

Gwithari is an only child and heir to the High Elven Throne. Why did we just jump over to this person? Are N and B not the MC's? The natural course of action is for Gwithari to take the throne when the King dies, however, the only thing preventing that is the secret Gwithari guards from the world. Gwithari’s true self is female though she was born male, a fact that doesn’t coincide with her parent’s strict heteronormative views. She is given an ultimatum by her parents, either conform and obey or face death. Hey, here's your hook - I found it down here. Lead with this. This is what makes your story stand out from the pack.

Atrahasis has always dreamed of discovering what became of his grandfather’s brother, the man that traveled to a far northern kingdom and fell in love with a beautiful woman. Atrahasis soon discovers that fulfilling this dream comes at a price.I have no idea what this has to do with any of the characters you've mentioned above. Right now this query has a name soup problem, and I'm not seeing threads to tie these people, or these plots, together.

Ragnifred resented the gods for damning her to a life as a giftless mortal. After stealing not only the gifts but the very life force of others Who? she vowed to one day kill the gods and remake the world as she sees fit. Now the only thing standing between her and her goals are these prophesied warriors, for they will be the key to her success. How can they both be what's standing in her way, and they key to her success?

I am a trans woman from Florida and when I am not writing I am a freelance graphic designer, artist, and caregiver to my disabled mother. Definitely mention you're trans, however, unless disability is a theme in the book, I don't know that the nod here is important.

Right now this query has too many names and not even plot. I don't have a real idea of how these stories are going to come together to create a plot. Do all of these characters have POV's? If so, multiple POV needs to be stated. If not, figure out who is the most importnat, and focus the query on their stories.