The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

If the Saturday Slash has been helpful to you in the past, or if you’d like for me to take a look at your query please consider making a donation, if you are able.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

With their Confidence and hearts shredded by toxic exes, two women’s chance encounter at a birthday sparks the oppourtunity to build an adventure at building a relationship together. except But it won’t last unless the frightened one accepts who she is without shame, and the embittered one lets go of her survivor’s guilt. I like the opening here, but I think the first line could be restructured slighlty in order to make it a little more accessible. I had to re-read it twice in order to understand the beginning phrase. Other rephrasing to avoid a run on indicated above.

I am reaching out to you seeking representation for my debut stand-alone novel with series potential. The Red Carnation, set in the early 2000’s of New York, weaves a story of LGBTQ+ and romance using humor and sorrow to show the empowerment of a loving family, true friendships, and standing up to fears and prejudice. In my novel T and Maddy present both sides of what it's like to be gay: the confident ones who’ve always known and those later in life discoverers needing to find the courage to say 'I am what I am' and I am worth something. This is a summation paragraph and bleongs at the end, IMO. Also, I always tell people to skip the "I am seeking representation" statement, b/c that's kind of obvious. You're querying them.

Almost old enough to retire secretary, I'd open this different, the sentence structure here is awkward Maddy Beckworth wasted most of her life with an abusive husband because she didn’t know there was a same sex relationship choice. Didn't know it was an option like in general as a human? Or for her, individually? The way it's written sounds like the former, as if anyone being anything other than straight is news to her Newly divorced after being told for years she was useless and abnormal, What does this mean? Did her ex suspect her sexuality and drove her down because of it? she fears she doesn’t deserve to be loved, wanted and Happy. happy should not be capitalized Maddy just needs the right someone to believe in her because she really is ‘hiding her light under a bushel’.

Cusp of fortieth birthday, Dinah ‘T’ Jay, is the retired police hero, business owner, Lucky Rose PI series author and Out for years Lesbian. I'd restructure this sentence, as the way it's formulated right now makes it awkward, same with opening paragraph above. T has everything: ‘The eyes, voice, and body’, No reason to put that in quotes money and fame. She’s also still tormented by her abusive partner’s untimely death years earlier so why should she deserve to be loved, wanted and Happy. Is it a question? Needs a question mark. But also a different route here - they both believe they don't deserve to be loved, wanted, and happy, but for different reasons. Distinguish those more T just needs the right someone to ease her from the unwarranted guilt. Guilt about what? The partner's death? Why? What happened? Also, out, lesbian and happy, shouldn't be capitalized.

Maddy doesn’t understand the feelings she’s having for T; how can two women love each other Again, if Maddy has been living in New York in the early 2000's, I feel like she can't be quite this wide-eyed and naive. If it's more like - how can I feel this way? that makes sense, but that's not what's coming across here and Why would T want her, the timid mouse? T already knows she’s falling for Maddy but hopes she’s not the ‘Test the Other side’ rebound; Why would Maddy want her, the cynical loner anyway? Two wounded souls each wishing for a second chance at finding that special person who’s both good To and For them; brought together by either pure dumb luck . . . or Fate. Don't capitalize why, test, other, to, for, fate.

The Red Carnation is similar to: Reservations of the Heart by T.B. Markinson (Two women dealing with trust issues), Gold by E.J. Noyes (Second chances when you’re at rock bottom), and Gentleman Jack by Anne Lister/Sally Wainwright (Lesbian romance between a strong character and a timid one).

My potential readers market is: The LGBTQ+ community wanting relatable FF relationship stories. Fans of Val McDermid and the Gentleman Jack TV series. Anyone who likes the Outlander series. People who want to laugh, cry and identify with fiction characters, and love being drawn into their World. Loving Broadway Divas and music is a plus too. Way too much time being spent on comp titles here. Your query should only be about 300 words, and you just used half of those on comp titles. Also, if your query is doing the job of getting the thrust of the novel across, you shouldn't have to explain why something is a good comp. Save that room for talking about your own book, not other people's.

Karen is LGBTQ+. Finding the courage to divorce an abusive husband, she moved cross country, stumbled into an online same sex chat room and began a ten year, 8,000 mile apart, long distance relationship until it was legal to marry. Karen’s an eclectic bookworm, accomplished quilter and crafter. If this is your bio, it needs to be in first person.

Matt Cost on From Beginning to End

It’s time for a new interview series… like NOW. No really, actually it’s called NOW (Newly Omniscient Authors). This blog has been publishing since 2011, and some of the earlier posts feel too hopeful dated. To honor the relaunch of the site, I thought I’d invite some of my past guests to read and ruminate on their answers to questions from oh-so-long-ago to see what’s changed between then and now.

Today’s guest for the NOW is Matt Cost, author of Velma Gone Awry: A Brooklyn 8 Ballo Mystery which releases on April 12

Has how you think (and talk) about writing and publishing changed, further into your career?

I don’t believe that much has changed in how I think about writing over the course of my career. I have always loved learning new things and creating stories. I’d like to think that my writing has become better. My upcoming historical PI mystery, Velma Gone Awry, is a culmination of all of my writing that has come before. It is a combination of my mysteries, which there are two separate series, the Mainely Mystery series, and the Clay Wolfe Trap series, and my historical novels. What I have come to better understand is how hard and how many people are striving to become successful writers. While I believe that everybody who writes a book is accomplished, financial prosperity is much harder to achieve. 

Let’s talk about the balance between the creative versus the business side of the industry. Do you think of yourself as an artiste or are you analyzing every aspect of your story for marketability? Has that changed from your early perspective?

My writing has refined into a more business-like aspect, without, I hope, losing the artistic side of things. I absolutely think of myself as an artiste, but at the same time, I have realized the importance of the rhythm of writing. My books, written fast and furious, usually run about 80,000 words at the end of the first draft, and generally I add approximately 8,000 words to that in rewrites as I flesh out characters, scenes, and the plot. That being said, in my first draft, something significant has to happen every ten-thousand words to drive the book forward. This is every 12.5 % of the book. I like to start with the hook that sets the mystery in motion, rising up throughout each climatic occurrence, and then receding, only to rise again. So, there is a business side to my writing, but I do not write for the market, I write for myself, and the market can choose to follow or not. 

The bloom is off the rose… what’s faded for you, this far out from debut?

If anything has faded, it would be the insatiable desire to have people read and love my books. I wrote a book about Joshua Chamberlain and the Civil War titled At Every Hazard for my first, and it was well received and well-reviewed. My second historical, I am Cuba, ran into more criticism, mostly because readers didn’t like the fact that I cast Fidel Castro in a good light. It was then that I began to realize that most reviews are a matter of taste and opinion, and that these were not always going to jive with my chosen work of art, no matter how well written, and that was okay. I’ve gotten poor reviews for foul language, violence, politics, and far more obscure reasons. The lesson? You can’t please everybody. 

Likewise, is there anything you’ve grown to love (or at least accept) that you never thought you would?

I never thought that editing would be something that I’d embrace. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that this is a place where the magic happens, and a good book can be transformed into a great book. The global development edits strengthen and fill in plot holes, flesh out characters into talking, thinking, and breathing individuals with fears, anxieties, and hopes. Line edits can be a thing of beauty as you rearrange a sentence to be stronger, tweak a scene to become haunting, and change a single word to resound in the reader’s mind. 

And lastly, what did getting published mean for you and how was it changed (or not changed!) your life?

I self-published my first book, At Every Hazard, and that was a fantastic experience, as I learned how to fend for myself in setting up the book pages, creating a cover, getting copies printed, and how to promote and market myself and my book. The rest of my books, ten of them as of last count, have been published by Encircle Publications. Taking the load off my shoulders in regard to creating a cover and a book has been awful nice. It has allowed me to write more efficiently and productively. Thus, in April, my twelfth book, Velma Gone Awry, will be published. In August, the fifth book in my Mainely Mystery series, Mainely Wicked, will be published. And in December, the fifth book in my Clay Wolfe Trap series, Pirate Trap, will be published. What did traditionally published has been huge for me. I can now focus on the business of writing. 

Matt Cost was a history major at Trinity College. He owned a mystery bookstore, a video store, and a gym, before serving a ten-year sentence as a junior high school teacher. In 2014 he was released and began writing. And that’s what he does. He writes histories and mysteries. Cost has published four books in the Mainely Mystery series, with the fifth, Mainely Wicked, due out in August of 2023. He has also published four books in the Clay Wolfe Trap series, with the fifth, Pirate Trap, due out in December of 2023. For historical novels, Cost has published At Every Hazard and its sequel, Love in a Time of Hate, as well as I am Cuba. In April of 2023, Cost will combine his love of histories and mysteries into a historical PI mystery set in 1923 Brooklyn, Velma Gone Awry. 

Many Little Irons In The Fire - Diversifying Your Writing Income With Beth Revis

Today's guest is NYT Bestselling author Beth Revis, who has made a career in both the YA trad world, self-publishing, serial writing, and through running a successful Patreon. Beth joined me today to talk about the endless hustle of the freelance life, diversification, and endless work - and rewards - of making a career as a creator.

Listen to the Episode Now